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How can they not know that?
We finally reach the study, and I realize there's at least one good thing that came out of our staff's not-so-proper attitude towards Lorenzo. They've had me so busy grumbling that I forgot to be nervous around him. But now that it's just the two of us alone...
My heart gallops away like a horse struck by lightning as I watch Lorenzo close the door behind him.
I can't believe this man is really my husband.
I've known for years, of course, that he was my nonna's choice, but it was like knowing how we'd all die someday. It was a knowledge that didn't feel real until it was about to happen—-or has already happened, as it was in my case.
Lorenzo turns to me, and when I see him glance at the couch, I realize something new about him.
Does he not like to talk much?
He gestures for me to sit down, but when I do, he chooses to remain on his feet, his back against the wall, but with a view of every point of entry. I almost feel like I'm with my bodyguard than my husband, and I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Come to think of it, I don't even know how to feel about him at all.
But I have no time to figure it out since the rest of my famiglia has already started arriving, and it's so, so annoyingly easy to tell that they've come to the same conclusion I have.
Grrrrrrrr.
They're very polite about it, of course. They glance at Lorenzo standing behind me, and then they take their seats, and not even the normally blunt Sarica says a word. Manners mean everything to our famiglia, after all.
But they still don't have me fooled.
Because I can see in their eyes they're just like the rest of the staff, and they're all dying to have one private moment.
Just one moment where they can laugh at me, the traitors.
It makes me want to strangle all of them, one by one.
But at the same time, it makes me want to throw my arms around Lorenzo and just say...
Thank you.
Because ever since that day, none of us—-
Not one of us—-
None of us had found any reason to even smile.
Until now.
And so even if it's at my expense—-
I'll take it.
Because we believe Giancarlo is still alive.
And it's time, it's truly time that we start acting like it.
Journal Entry
I don't know what to make of him.
His words make it seem he's made of stone.
But his actions speak otherwise.
