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Gabriel, to his credit, had seemingly kept up as he turned to face me fully, took my hand in his, and stared into my eyes.
“Henri, why did you not tell me that you had this medical condition?” he asked, giving my shaking hand a tender squeeze, and I glanced from his soulful eyes to the cross.
I thought to fluff it off, to make light, and to try to emerge from this impromptu counseling session with some of my dignity, but since I had just spewed out about ten years’ worth of despair and fear, there was no point in trying to backpedal now.
“I did not wish for you, or anyone, to view me as handicapped, for I am not, nor shall I allow anyone to call me so. My vision will worsen, yes, and I will require someone to drive me about like Miss Daisy.”
He snorted most ungraciously, so I threw him a sassy sideways glance. “Sorry, Henri, but I cannot imagine you sitting in the back of a car, wearing a straw hat and prim white gloves. A MacGill porkpie hat perhaps.”
That made me smile. “Yes, well, I did not mean the exact replica of Miss Tandy in the role.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for making light of things, but, Henri, no one would think of you any less the man because your vision worsens. It happens to all of us over time, and yours is an inherited genetic condition. Also, and of this I am most sure, Phil would not think any less of you. What amazes me is that you’d think he might after getting to know him as well as you have over the past few weeks.”
“I have gotten to know him well, and yes, in the biblical sense too,” I confessed.
“That’s to be expected with two virile men who have been so into each other for as long as you two have been.” I shot him a look. “It’s been really obvious to everyone but you and Phil that you two are attracted to each other.”
“Oh, well.” I pulled out my handkerchief and then refolded it just for something to do with my hands. “I’m not sure about all of that. He’s really quite boisterous and talkative.”
“And you’re quiet and subdued. A perfect pair of opposites.”
“Do you think?” I wasn’t sure. About that or anything else right now. “I’ve tried so hard to keep myself away from entanglements because I did not wish to be a burden. Do opposites attract, really? How? How could it ever work?”
“You’ll figure it out, have faith. God put you and him together for a reason. And I like to think that he knows what he’s doing. Master plan and all that. Perhaps you should talk to Philip. Tell him what you just told me and let him decide if he wishes to try a relationship?”
“Hmm,” I answered, the panic that had gripped me so strongly lessening now. “I could ask him out to do something that I enjoy doing and we could talk.”
“Talking. That’s a good start. Be honest with him and believe in his good heart. I know he’s not a regular here on Sundays, but whenever the call for help goes out, he arrives.”
“No, he is Catholic.”
“He has informed me numerous times when he feels bad about not coming to our services. I tell him that God cares not where you choose to honor him—be it in a building or sitting at home or in a treehouse—just as long as you honor him. That seems to ease his upset.”
Yes, that sounded like Philip. I nodded. “I will think about it. Thank you, Gabriel. Your words have lifted my spirit.”
“That, my friend, is my job and my greatest joy.” He patted my shoulder, whispered a soft prayer of guidance on my behalf, and then left me to commune with a higher power. I sat there for a long time, wringing my hankie, as I tried my best to work up the nerve to let someone in.
Perhaps it was time to open up my heart just a crack. Mama would wish me to do so.
I wished to do so if I were being honest and sitting here before the cross, I could be nothing but candid.
Yes, I would call Philip and see how he felt about a day out.
“God help me,” I softly asked. If this were his plan, he surely could toss out a bit of assistance, correct?
Chapter Eleven
Phil
"Upset about waking up alone. I mean, Key, I’ve come awake alone a few times before. We all have, right?”
One of the owners of Williams Wellness, a tall, stunning Black man named Keyshan Williams—he of the boxing prowess that I’d witnessed when here with Bean last—nodded as we moved around the gym, gathering what we’d need.
“It happens,” he replied while I followed him around the empty gym.
“Right. It happens, and so that’s not unexpected. But man, this was unexpected. I thought Henri and me had kind of…I don’t know…progressed. I felt a real sort of bond developing between us, and I ain’t one to bond fast. Now my cousin Luigi—don’t laugh, that is his name and no, he ain’t a plumber, he’s employed by a meat packing plant in Yonkers. Luigi, now that man falls in love at the drop of a cat.”
“Hat.” I blinked up at the tall drink of incredibly fine water. If Henri didn’t have me fifty shades of cattywampus, then I’d totally be hitting on him. “Drop of a hat.”
