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“I’m okay,” I said.
He clung to me like he was scared of letting me go. I didn’t resist, savouring the feeling of him against me. I let my head fall back against his shoulder and closed my eyes to stop the world from spinning.
The moment Neil loosened his grip, my legs gave out. He caught me again. “Let’s get you back downstairs. It was a mistake to ask you to come here. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, still in a state of shock.
“I’m going to carry you,” he said. “Wrap your arms around my shoulders,”
I did as he instructed, feeling his solid warmth under my hands. In one fluid movement, he scooped me off the ground, cradling me in his arms. I nestled my face in the crook of his neck like it was a security blanket, relishing his familiar scent. His pulse quickened beneath my cheek.
He shuffled me as he opened the door to the stairwell, then I felt him descend the steps. He lowered me when we reached the landing by the door to the twentieth floor, my body sliding down his until my feet touched the ground.
“Can you walk?” he asked, keeping me steady with one hand on my waist.
“Yes. I think so.”
He stayed close to my side on our way to my office. As soon as we were inside, he closed the door, then guided me to the couch with a firm hand. “Sit down,” he said. “Take a breather.”
I obliged, still a little shaken and disorientated.
Neil made his way to the water cooler stationed in the far corner of the room. I heard the rustle of a cup being taken from the stack and placed under the dispenser. The tank gurgled as a steady stream of water gushed out.
When Neil returned, he sat beside me and passed me the cup. “Drink.”
I gulped it down, the cold water soothing my parched throat. “What happened?” I asked when I had finished.
Neil studied me with concern etched on his harsh features. “You fainted.”
“I… I…” My voice trailed off, the words catching in my throat.
“You don’t need to say anything.”
“I saw Alex fall.”
Neil looked stricken. “What?”
“On the day he died. I saw him through the window.”
Neil ran a hand down his face. “I should never have asked you to come to the roof. Forgive me.”
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
“I should have known! Why didn’t I know?”
He had a pleading look in his eyes. I was lost in them as I grasped for words. “I would have told you… I thought I was over it, but I guess I’m more traumatised by his death than I thought I was. When I looked down… I saw Alex. No—I saw my—” A pain shot through my temple. “Agh!”
Neil placed his hand on my back as I keeled over with my palm pressed to the ache. We sat in silence until my ears pricked to a gentle tip-tapping. The pain subsided as I listened. “It’s raining,” I said.
“Hmm?” Neil tilted his head. “So it is.”
The sound intensified to a steady drumbeat. Neil got up and walked to the window. He opened it, letting the sound of the rain fill the room—the same thing I always did when it was raining. He must have caught on to my habit. I closed my eyes and let the sound wash over me, a sense of calm spreading through my body.
The couch dipped as Neil returned to my side. “How are you feeling now?”
“Better.”
“I think you should go home. I’ll ask Winston to give you a ride.”
