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It was vacant.
James was nowhere to be seen, and neither was the package.
I tried to calm myself down. The package was safe, according to James. He had probably just gone to the bathroom or something. He’d be back in a minute. I waited for him.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, I heard footsteps, then I saw James’s friendly face as he emerged from around the corner. “There you are!”
“Looking for your package? I took it to your office.”
I let out a little yelp and hightailed it to my office. When I entered, I looked around in a flurry. Where did he put it? It wasn’t on my desk or the spare desk. It wasn’t on the table by the printer, or on top of the cabinet. I couldn’t see it anywhere.
Then I took a cursory glance towards Neil’s office.
No. Please, no.
His door was open. I peeked inside, and I saw the worst possible scenario unfolding before me.
Neil stood there, holding what looked suspiciously like my package in his hands.
It was already half opened… no, three quarters opened. He was pulling out the gift bag contained within the outer packaging.
“Neil,” I stammered, rushing forward with my hand outreached. “Don’t open it. That’s mine!”
But it was too late. He had already opened it.
What happened next played out in slow motion.
Startled by my sudden entrance, Neil fumbled and dropped the gift bag. Its contents scattered on the floor.
Oh dear lord.
It was buzzing. Vibrating. Loud and intense.
A bright pink bullet vibrator, surrounded by other naughty items, had turned itself on with the impact of the fall.
“Oh my gosh.” I dove to pick it up.
Neil started to bend over to help clear the floor as well, but then he appeared to think better of it and snapped upright, averting his gaze.
“It’s a bachelorette gift,” I explained, frantically trying to figure out how to turn the buzzing sex toy off. “It wasn’t supposed to get delivered to work!”
Neil cleared his throat. “My apologies. There was no name on the parcel, and I’m expecting a delivery today. I shouldn’t have opened it.”
“Ugh! How do I turn this off?”
I finally found the off button, and I mashed it until the buzzing stopped. I shoved the vibrator back in the gift bag, then the rest of the items along with it—a scented candle, body oil, and some rudely shaped candy.
As I got back on my feet, I wiped my brow with the back of my hand. My face was red. I could feel it.
Neil chewed his lip, watching me with an expression which was half bewildered, half intrigued.
I backed away. “I’ll just… get back to work.”
“Yes,” Neil said. “You do that.”
I couldn’t look Neil in the eyes for the rest of the day.
When I got home, I shoved all the goodie bag gifts into the top drawer of my bedside table and slammed it shut, too mortified to even look at them.
