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I fidgeted with my almost-empty coffee mug, unsure how to respond.
Neil must have noticed my dejected body language, because he placed his hand over mine. “Don’t worry. I know my situation is complicated, but I want this to work. More than anything. Okay? This isn’t just a fling to me.”
I turned my palm up beneath his, lacing our fingers. “I want this to work too.”
His thumb stroked my knuckles. “But if we’re going to keep seeing each other, discretion is key. I’m sure you understand why.”
“Because you’re still my boss, and because you don’t want Daniel to find out about us in case it puts me in danger.”
Neil’s jaw tightened at the mention of his nemesis’s name. “Yes. So we have to keep this a secret, at least until the Zelthia situation reaches its endgame.”
“There’s something I don’t understand. Daniel already thought we were sleeping together, and it didn’t matter then, so why does it matter now?”
“Because for a man like Daniel, you can fuck someone without having feelings for them. In other words, I’m not concerned if he thinks we’re sleeping together. What I don’t want him to know is how much I care about you.”
The reason was more simple than I thought it would be, and it made complete sense. And Neil cares about me…
“Okay, I think I get it. But none of this matters if Daniel doesn’t find out that you’re scheming to oust him, does it?”
Neil nodded. “He’s definitely suspicious that something’s going on, but beyond that, I don’t think he has anything concrete against me. I just want to be cautious. Once the dust settles on the succession, that’s when we can tell people about us.”
“Any idea how long that might take?”
Neil exhaled through his nose. “Could be months, a year… longer. There are a lot of moving pieces.”
My heart sank, but I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face. I understood Neil’s need for discretion, but the thought of sneaking around for ages, only catching fleeting moments with him, twisted my insides in knots. Then there was my impending trip to Europe, throwing further complications into the mix.
“Trust me, Milly, it kills me to have to act like you’re some kind of dirty little secret. You deserve so much better than this. I wouldn’t blame you for backing out right now. Do you want to?”
I shook my head. “I’m prepared to go through with this.”
“I know it’s not much of a consolation, but we can still see each other freely within this building. We can trust my security team here.”
I nodded, buoyed by this compromise. “Oh, good. But what about work? You’re not going to make me quit, are you?”
Neil shook his head. “You were right before. You leaving will look more suspicious than not, plus I’d prefer to keep you within arm’s length. But we’ll have to be careful. I ask that you keep your conduct strictly professional. I’ll do the same.”
“Even when we’re alone in your office?”
“Even then. After the spying incident, I won’t risk anything.”
“Good point.”
“And soon enough, you’ll be leaving, anyway. Off on your big OE.”
I nibbled my lip. Given the changed circumstances of our relationship, I hated the thought of putting an ocean between us so soon. “About that. Are you still sure you want me to go?”
“Yes. It will give me peace of mind knowing you’re far from Daniel’s reach. I’ll rest easier at night.”
“And you’ll wait for me to come back?”
He squeezed my hand. “Yes, I will. And when that happens, hopefully all of this will have blown over. But if you can’t wait that long, I’d understand. Or if you meet someone else?—”
“I can wait! I’ll wait however long it takes. And there’s no one except you. I can’t even comprehend wanting to be with anyone else but you.”
Neil’s posture relaxed, his hunched shoulders deflating. “As tough as it was, I’m glad we had this talk.”
“Me too.”
