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Fitz stepped through the open door, but I hurried to catch up. I made it three steps before Bishop caught my hand and anchored my steps.
“Why are you leaving?”
I stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “To explain this. He doesn’t understand.”
Bishop’s brow crushed inward. “I’m afraid that makes two of us.” His grip tugged as if to bring me closer, but I didn’t move. “You don’t owe him anything, Michaela.”
“I’m his friend.” I pulled my hand free. “I owe him that.”
He didn’t move to stop me the second time. Before I left, I shrugged his sweater off and draped it across a crate near the door before I stepped out into the bitter cold. My feet slipped and slid as I scurried to catch up with Fitz. More than once, I hit the ice, but I forced myself to get back up every time, knowing I had to catch him.
“Fitz!” I shouted. “Fitz, wait for me!” But he didn’t turn. He wasn’t waiting. Still, I pressed on, desperate to explain what he’d seen. “Fitz, please!”
Only twenty feet off, he stalled mid-step. He didn’t turn, but he didn’t leave either. The shadows felt thicker than before. It had to be near one in the morning. Even with my layers, the cold sliced right through. But I couldn’t give up, not now.
“My name,” he still didn’t turn around, “is Leonidas, Crown Prince of Nolcovia. And it would do you good to remember it.”
The words stung like a slap. Never once had he corrected me to use his given name. “I’m sorry, Your Highness.” I faltered, unsure of this place we’d landed. “Just talk to me,” I begged as I closed our distance to only five feet.
With the urgency of a sloth, Fitz turned toward me, expression like a stone. “Not a topic I wish to discuss, Michaela. I’ve never been one to enjoy hearing about your romances.”
“And why is that, Fitz?” I pulled at the thread I’d wondered about for years. How long had he been harboring these feelings?
“Because you date losers.” Fitz motioned to the building behind us. “Case in point.”
“It’s not like that.” I shook my head. “And don’t change the subject.”
Fitz
What did she want me to say?
Because I know you can do better.
Because you’re amazing and yet your taste in men is abysmal at best.
Because I’ve loved you for ages, but only realized it tonight when you kissed me.
Because I’m falling apart at the thought of you with anyone else.
But none of that would come easily. All of it required more than I could give her.
“I told you, I’m not having this conversation.” My nervous system raced with adrenaline, an animal in a trap with nowhere to go. “Your life is yours, but maybe you shouldn’t be living it here.”
Her eyes widened, but her lips parted with confusion. “What are you saying?”
Once more, my options ran through my mind.
I can’t look at you without aching.
Not touching you makes me hurt all over.
I’m dying to kiss you but fear you’re not mine after all.
“You’ve served your purpose.” I kept emotion from my voice as I’d been trained. This had to be a choice of the throne, not the heart. “Maybe it’s time you go home.”
“You won’t choose me?”
I forced myself to believe she was referring to the next choosing ceremony, less than eighteen hours away. I tried not to think of what it would look like, or how I would feel not fastening a charm to her bracelet. She’d been with me every step of the way. Most of my life.
