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A confession?
Nothing at all?
What would he have said if no one interrupted?
What would Fitz have done?
Fitz
Steam rushed into my nostrils as I breathed deeply. Hot droplets of water poured from four directions and I turned to face the downpour, letting it wash over my face. I’d stayed too long on our outing and not only froze, but I also made myself late for the rest of the obligations I had throughout the day. Thankfully, Reginald pushed back my meeting with the Department of Transportation and moved my lunch with two professionals who wanted to talk about waterway changes for the Gauchian Province. But I still had a meeting with a delegation from Aclusia Province with pressing matters to tend to before the day ended.
Most people assumed my role in government was to wear the crown and wave but in reality, I spent a good deal of time on the infrastructure that made Nolcovia function. My father dealt with laws and policy, but for the last two years, I’d focused on our inner workings, hoping to bring Nolcovia up as a proper player at the world’s table.
Wishing I could stay longer in the steamy shower, but knowing I’d pay for it, I cut the water and sighed. Too many looming decisions waited beyond the shower doors. A vain hope suggested that by never leaving, I could avoid dealing with any of it. But the steam dissipated quickly and, with the chill returning to my body, I opened the door and forced myself to find strength.
Every minute I spent with the women left me torn. Even with nine of them, there wasn’t a weak one in the bunch. In the beginning, it was easier to eliminate options, but every day it became increasingly harder. Tomorrow night, I would have to deny at least one, but honestly, I expected more. It wasn’t in my nature to drag things out. But I still risked sending the wrong one home if I moved in too much haste.
I rubbed a towel over my body, thoughts wandering as I considered my options. Esme still distracted me with her beauty, and today, I’d seen a playful side of her that gave me hope. But stubbornly, I hated the idea of ending up with the one my father had chosen. I paused, feeling the ache of reality. Maybe it was for the best, considering his prognosis. A dying wish to grant.
Blair would be the opposite. For the time being, she was the only one who was safe since I’d given her the next charm on our date. But she was the chauffeur’s daughter and her newly granted nobility didn’t matter, not to my parents. To them, she would always be below my station and unacceptable. Blair challenged me in ways I never expected. Over the years, we’d had conversations, moments in passing, and I considered her a friend, but was it enough?
A frigid blast of air hit me as I pulled back the door and entered my bedroom. I inhaled sharply and strode to my armoire, mind still busy with my choices. Gwen, I still held hope for a chance at the future I’d envisioned, but that hope had dwindled. Eirene, so impeccably intelligent and principled, but not a romantic match for me. Minny, the socialite from Princeborough Province, with her sunshine personality and infectious giggle. I hadn’t spent much time with her, but the day’s adventure left me intrigued.
Chantal, once more had surprised me. Gone was her rigid nature I remembered from our past relationship, and she’d played like a schoolgirl, no boundaries between herself and those considered common. I dressed quickly, wanting to return to the fireplace’s warmth. Something had changed in Chantal. She deserved more time.
Always a wild card, Dagny made me smile. We wouldn’t have love, but I doubted a day would pass that I wasn’t laughing with her as my wife.
That left me with… Michaela. Both palms came up to rub my face, wanting to wipe away the truth that had settled over me in our secret moment. So beautiful. Always selflessly giving up her own gifts for the benefit of others. She’d done it today, claiming Sadie had found the flag, needing her to reap the reward. Perhaps I should have followed the plan. Not that Sadie appeared happy about my kiss. After all, she turned her face at the last second, offering her cheek instead. What was I to think of that?
But Michaela, my sweet Coco, bent to my wishes, eyes closed, lips parted, and if not for the snowy onslaught out of nowhere, I would have learned the taste of her lips. The fact that I didn’t weighed on me.
Of course, it was stupid. If I thought Blair would be a hard sell, Michaela would be impossible. American, not noble by birth, and my mother had despised her from the first story I’d ever told. But I couldn’t help but relive our secret moment.
I lied when I told her I hadn’t meant to throw us down that hill. Desire to have her alone for even a minute had surged within my heart. I understood what had driven Gwen. The need to understand the fire I felt toward Michaela had become almost unbearable. We tumbled faster than I expected, and it was pure luck that an unintentional rock face stopped us. But my hands on her face, my thumb against her lips, testing them to see if she would pull away, that was premeditated. Was it wrong to hope that some part of her had searched for that flag, knowing it would end in a kiss?
I had to see her. Whatever this was between us, it deserved exploration. I meant what I told her. Though she hadn’t started as a true competitor, she’d snuck to the front of the pack. We needed time and privacy to explore our emotions. Not easy with cameras following our every move.
Years ago, my granny had surprised me with a pack of notecards embossed with frogs. Until Coco, Granny was the only one who indulged my love of frogs. Mother found them putrid, Father said they were disease ridden, but Granny said I could act like a proper little boy if needed. It made sense to use one of those cards for something that would enrage my parents if discovered.
I penned the words quickly, then tucked it inside one of the tiny envelopes that came in the set and wrote her name on the front. Reginald would deliver it, leaving the trail limited to only one person.
And he’d kept my secrets for years.
Tucking it in my vest pocket, I set my hands to the double doors and pulled them back. My eyes widened at the sight, shocked I hadn’t heard them enter.
“What sort of ambush is this?” My darting gaze flicked between my parents, seated on my couch near the fire. I narrowed my eyes and stared at my cousin. “And what is he doing here?”
Mother’s mouth tightened in a scowl, not impressed by my show of power and indignation. “We’re here because we care, Leonidas. Your father and I agreed to this… ordeal… as a compromise, but we won’t allow you to make a mockery of the crown.”
“What are you talking about?” I couldn’t fathom the reason for her outburst. Since when was this my idea? She’d practically strongarmed me into doing it.
Bishop cleared his throat and partially blocked his mouth with his hand to hide his words. Foolish, since they could obviously hear him fine. “They saw the footage from today. The jig is up.”
“The jig?” More confused than ever, I shook my head. “What are you talking about? You’re upset we held a snood?”
“Not the snood,” she cut me off.
“Then what?” I’d done nothing to deserve this treatment.
