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I held my breath and pressed my lips together. Was it wrong to hope she would say no? After all, hadn’t she just told me that her heart was broken over the death of her true love?
What was I thinking?
This is what I was supposed to want for him.
She was a great choice. Sweet and caring. She knew the political underbelly of the kingdom and yet wasn’t as pushy as Blair. She would make a great queen.
Why was I clenching my teeth and wishing he’d asked me instead of her?
“It would be my honor, Your Highness,” Sadie whispered.
I looked away, unable to deal. Let the cameras see me. It would make great viewing to watch the American lose again.
I meant to glance out the window to see if the rain had stopped, but I felt someone’s stare and searched it out.
Chantal watched me, but her anger wasn’t meant for me.
No, she saw the way I’d reacted and had a message for me.
If I had to caption her look, it would be: Same, girl. Same.
I wasn’t the only one who felt robbed of my win.
But what could I do about it? I was supposed to be his friend.
More importantly, as I watched Chantal’s hands curl into fists, what did she plan to do about it?
Fitz
Sadie, or rather, Lady Sadira, was the last person I expected to accompany me to the old castle the following morning. For a brief moment, I worried that the honor would fall on Chantal, just because in all my wisdom, sarcasm intended, I had never expected her to fare so well with small children and figured the reward would fall to someone like Blair or even Gwen. Shocking turn of events later, I found that Gwen abhorred children, Chantal treasured them, and Sadie had unknown medical talent I’d never expected.
I’d meant to travel with her, but pressing matters kept me distracted an hour past our departure time. I fiddled with my watch as the car took the final incline that led to the royal property that waited inside the hills at the base of the mountain. Ages ago, Drysden Fitzborough had started the construction, but it hadn’t been finished until his son, Basilius, reigned with his bride. It had been the stronghold of the royal monarchy for generations until the last century when my great-grandfather decided the drafty halls were better suited to become a museum to our history and commissioned the modern palace be erected instead. Many criticized him for the choice, but in reality, it brought the monarchy to the people rather than being elevated on the hills looking down on them. From my balcony, I had a clear view, a constant reminder of the responsibility that rested on my shoulders.
“We’re almost there, Sire.” Galen, my driver and Blair’s father, met my stare in the rearview mirror. The title was meant for the king, and he knew that. I noticed more than one of our servants had started giving it to me ahead of Father’s death. Perhaps they knew how much I’d already taken on. I should have corrected him, but I understood what he meant. He was ready to follow me when the time came.
A pang of guilt chewed at my heart as I realized how he probably felt driving me to meet someone other than his daughter. I willed the destination to come a little faster. I wanted to praise him for his daughter’s strength and intelligence, but with a cameraman riding in the seat next to me, it wasn’t the time. And, if I didn’t choose her, was it fair to give him false hope that I would?
The grey stones of the castle came into view, imposing and massive, a symbol of the power and majesty of the crown as it was and as it would always be, God willing. Pressure over my looming decision pressed against my chest, bearing down on me. I had days until the next choosing ceremony, but I still wrestled with my choice. Who, and how many, was not what I wanted on my mind going into this date with Sadie. The cameraman twisted his angle, trying to capture my face, but I turned and looked out the window, giving my full attention to the turrets and towers of the castle instead.
This had become a circus. How was I supposed to find love with cameras recording my every move so that somewhere experts could dissect every twitch of my cheek, twiddle of my thumbs, any sigh that eased from my chest? All of this while trying to find love? Was I mad? Absolutely insane? Christmas loomed closer every day, and beyond that, the New Year’s Ball where I was meant to announce and then marry my new bride. Less than three weeks. Yes, I was clearly out of my mind.
But I had no other options.
The car slowed to a stop. I leaned forward to get a better view of where we were. The massive archaic doors loomed outside my window, but through the front windshield, I spotted another car, likely the one that had brought Sadie. Thanking Galen quickly, I stepped from my vehicle, too anxious to wait for him to get the door. Sadie had hardly said more than eight words to me during the entire competition. She’d pledged her mind to me with ancient rites, but in truth, I barely knew her. The attraction was there, but the human connection had never been made.
“Your Highness,” Tom’s voice caught my attention, calling me toward the set they’d created with lights and cameras trained on a specific spot. The weather refused to cooperate with his scene, hence the lighting. Grey clouds did nothing for the façade of romance they were eager to create. This whole process had left me jaded with the concept myself. If they could manufacture romance through manipulation, how could I trust my own instincts?
Clearly, they wanted to record this as more of a spectacle than I’d ever planned. On days when nothing made sense and I doubted my abilities to rule, I would come to the castle and walk the halls, drawing on the strength of those who had come before me. In my eyes, their perspective remained true and unclouded, somehow far less muddled than the world I lived in. I often imagined what it would be like to stand in the tower, see the approaching armies coming to conquer, and issuing the command to safeguard my people. These days, the threats were a different animal entirely. Domestic terrorism, infighting, cyber wars; it all left me longing for the glint of the sun reflecting off an enemy’s armor instead.
“You’ll stand here,” Tom started in on his directions without so much as a proper greeting. “Sadie will exit her vehicle. We will be trained on your face, so try to give us something to work with. We haven’t had too much footage of the two of you together and the predictive chatter is somewhere between disaster and disgrace.” His eyebrow lifted a quarter-inch to drive his point home. “If you could prove them wrong, the ratings will be phenomenal.”
I couldn’t speak for a moment. Too befuddled that he would ask that of me. This was supposed to be my chance to find love and he was essentially asking me to not only deceive my people, but the world, and more importantly, Sadie. Thankfully, Tom didn’t wait for my answer, which was for the best, since quitting the whole competition perched on the tip of my tongue.
The footmen saw Tom’s cue and hurried to open the door for Sadie. I shook my head, feeling too much like a trapped animal. What would we talk about for the next three hours? I could only mention the weather so many times. My heart pounded with panic. This had all become too much. Father was failing fast and I had a country to run, with or without him, and I didn’t have time for—
She emerged from the car, a vision in soft blue fabric draped around her frame as if she were Athena reincarnated. Her head ducked, timid, as she took steps toward me. Playful slips in the arms displayed peeks of skin covered by the sheer chiffon. Now and then, the slit in the front would betray a glimpse of her slender and elegant legs as she strode toward me. My palm covered my heart, feeling too much like I’d been struck, quite literally, by her beauty. Where she normally had her hair in a braid or tied back off her neck, the dark-chocolate locks hung smartly over her shoulders in tender curls. When she finally looked up and met my gaze, I swallowed back the gasp at the transformation in her loveliness. It wasn’t that her face looked any different, but her handmaid must have taken great care to elevate all her features that made her naturally beautiful. From her round, dark doe eyes, to her high cheekbones and full and supple lips, even her lashes, while always longer and darker than most, added to the mysterious allure that bespelled her.
She sank low, a curtsy that showed not only her dedication to the crown but hinted at a deeper admiration for me. I held my breath, at a loss for words over the transformation she’d taken. Yes, she’d been beautiful at the choosing ceremonies before, but something new had sparked to life in her today. Something I found impossible to ignore.
