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I brush his praise aside, uncomfortable with the attention solely resting on me. Returning to my seat, I keep my gaze down, though I feel his stare on me. His dark eyes don’t venture away. A new confidence rises within him that I’m not used to seeing from Rhett. Even without his hat, everything about him screams that he’s a cowboy. I don’t know how he’s still single. Guys like him, they’ve always been my Achilles heel. Add those puppy dog eyes of his and endearing smile, if I actually let myself, I’d be gone. But that’s the thing, we’ve been friends from the start of it all. Allowing myself to see him as anything but my friend, it could risk everything we’ve built.
“My promotion to lead day ride girl feels a little selfish since I’m riding now. But maybe that was my goal all along.” I bump him with my boot under the table, so he gets that I’m teasing. Those eyes still won’t break the stare.
“It seems to make you happy.”
Dad, wherever he is, would be a little too smug at that thought. “Like I said before, I pulled away from this lifestyle in the last couple years. Then that fall happened, and I really wanted nothing to do with it. Being back in it, having a connection with the horses and the land, it makes me feel like I’m home again in a way.”
“You know, you can stay here as long as you want, Sunny.”
I know it’s true, and a part of me wants to. I could fade into this world and never look back. But I ran away from a world in turmoil and eventually I feel like it’ll all catch up to me.
“Eat something, would ya? I thought you were starving.” The air between us has shifted somehow, as if the time apart has changed us. Not in a bad way, just the contrary. Everything between us feels deeper, like finally getting to catch up with an old friend you haven’t seen in years, but the absence makes reuniting feel like a cozy blanket. But the way he’s stealing glances at me between bites, that look in his eye, it’s different and new and a little exciting. For as much as I hold back my identity, he’s still held back on his as well. As unnerving as this new side of him can be, I don’t want it to stop either.
“This is good, it’s different, but it’s good.”
“My dad’s recipe,” I say without thinking. Rhett’s head comes up, looking for something more, but I look away not wanting to talk about it. “I fixed it up over the years. It was just the two of us for a long time.”
He wades through the silence for a moment, letting the only sounds be forks on plates. Finally, he asks, “How old were you when he remarried?”
It feels safe enough to answer. “Sixteen.”
“And she had sons?”
“Yes, two.”
“I know one is Anderson, he’s the oldest, I think.” Rhett thinks for minute before he points his fork at me. “And I think the other one must be Tucker.”
I pause in eating, confused. Did he look me up? Does he know who I am?
“How did you—”
“With your migraine, you were a little out of it. You were threatening to beat me up if I didn’t put you down. You said your brother was in the military and had made you into a weapon.” Rhett tilts his head like he’s won some kind of war. “His name is Anderson.”
“And how do you know about Tucker?”
“Your first morning here, I went to wake you up and you kept calling me Tucker and telling me to get lost.” Rhett stabs a pile of noodles. “I thought he was your boyfriend, but once you said you were single, I figured brother instead.”
I worry that if he knows too much more, he’ll know where I came from. If he knows that, he might not be so eager to have me stay forever.
“Anderson, Tucker,” he smiles across the table, “and you.”
“You’re fishing.”
“Can you blame me? I’ve never been closer to the truth. This is like some reverse Rumpelstiltskin game. Instead of guessing your name, I just keep gathering clues.”
“Why do you want to know?” I push what’s left of my dinner around with my fork. “I like being Sunny. I don’t need to go back.”
“I like Sunny too.” The muscles in his jaw flash for a minute. “But sometimes, I wish I could call you by your name. It feels like it would make things real between us.”
“Real?”
He shifts in his chair, clearly struggling to get the words the way he wants them. “I know we’re friends, but with you playing a role like Sunny, it makes me feel like this whole friendship is pretend. Like one day I’ll wake up, and you’ll be gone.” He swallows, looks away, and shifts again. “I’ll never be able to find you because I never really knew you. None of this was real. And I hate that idea. I haven’t had a friend like you in…I don’t even know how long. I’d hate to lose this.”
I forget sometimes that so much of his life has been about sudden loss. Loss of his parents, his home, the stability children deserve in their childhood. The idea of me vanishing must feel too similar in his mind. Abandonment without a trace.
Before I have a chance to address it, Rhett changes the subject. “Nick called today. The SubBug is looking good again. New coat of paint, tricked out, as Nick says.” He pushes his plate forward clearing his throat as he does it and leans his forearms on the table. “He has these bonfires once a month. With everything going on, I missed the last one, but that just makes him push harder for me to come to this one.”
“Out on the beach?”
