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“There’s putting on a face to help resolve a situation, and then there’s putting on a face for my entire life,” I said, my voice coming out more insistent, something in me urgent in a way I didn’t recognize. I leaned forwards. “Met with Adam Garcia the other day, he said the same thing. María said so. You said so.”
She sighed, hanging her head. “You’re the damn best in the business, London, I swear. You can close anyone. Just…”
I shifted closer. “Just?”
“Just… ever think that’s a bad sign? If you can close anyone?”
I frowned. She put her hands up.
“Forget it. I’m just talking garbage.”
“Tell me. Please.”
She downed another long swig of her drink before she leaned back in her chair, gesturing at the air. “Some people aren’t the right fit for closing some clients. If you’re able to close anyone, you’re being everybody all at once. It’s like you’re just… like you’re doing everything right.”
“And that’s a problem?”
“Yeah, it’s a damn problem,” she said, her posture changing, eyes flaring, leaning in towards me. “You ever take a stand? You ever stick by something even when the world tells you not to, because you know in your heart it’s right? You make all the right decisions, say all the right things, do everything right all the time, you’re going to lose your goddamn mind. And you know what else?”
I didn’t get a chance to guess. She stood up, leaning over the table towards me.
“It’s gonna be damn hard for anyone to love you.”
I raised my eyebrows, taking a long sip of my drink before I responded. “If I do everything right, people won’t love me, is that it?”
“You can only love someone if you know them—really damn well know them. Otherwise you just like them. If there’s no proper you for people to know, then everyone’s going to like you, but not a damn soul gets to love you. And that’s…” She sagged, her face falling. “That’s a damn shame. Because I know plenty of people who would love to love you.”
I let out a long, shaky breath, my heart pounding suddenly for no reason. A wind swept in off the ocean, tossing my hair in my face, and I raked my fingernails across my cheek tucking the strands of hair back behind my ear.
“There. Real talk for you.” Ruth dropped back into her chair. “Had that one on my chest for ages.”
“What… what should I do?”
She snorted. “Well, judging by that lost-puppy look you’ve got in your eyes, you want Cameron back.”
“Yeah. I want…” I shook my head. “I want Miami. And Cameron. And Queen Pearl. I miss all the work we got to do. Together.”
Ruth clutched her drink in both hands, pulling it closer to her chest. “I know it sucks Queen Pearl’s gone. I miss it, too. Probably going to miss it forever. But there will be other jobs. There will be other cities and other people, too, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up all three just because you lost one.”
“But—I swear it’s like the city doesn’t want me here. Who’s going to hire me? And what’s going to happen to them next?”
“Hell if I know. You’ve got quite a track record. But I think a track record is just what you make of it.”
Right. Heads or tails.
Despite everything, it was fifty-fifty. No matter what the coin thought.
I tipped back my drink, setting it down hard, before I spoke in a low voice. “Thanks, Ruth. I, uh… I’ve never really let it—let us—I guess you’re right. Never really let anyone in, you included. You’ve been a patient friend.”
She shrugged. “No time like the present. Everything’s gotta start sometime or other, right?”
“Right. Yeah. I believe it.” I looked out over the horizon, waves rolling over the water’s surface. “Think I’ve got a chance with her?”
“She’s already been giving you a chance. Hell, if you ask me, everything she said wasn’t trying to get rid of you, that was her saying she needs to get to know you better.”
Ruth was damn smart, after all. Made sense—she’d always been good at her job, and to be good in sales, you had to know how to read a person.
And I was good at it, too. And I knew Cameron. Knew what she needed.
