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But right now she wanted to get to the bottom of their discussion. Because her heart was straining at the bonds tying it down, and the power of that straining was fired up by hope.
Hope she wasn’t going to let take over.
Not yet.
Perhaps never.
‘And there’s no petition for full custody,’ he went on. ‘If you decide to leave after our child is born there’ll be no constraints on your participation in his life.’
She swallowed the lump that had been forming at his words. ‘You said child—not children. You’re willing to let me walk away after he’s born? What if I decide to take him with me?’
She noticed the way his eyes shone whenever she referred to their child, the pulse of love that gleamed for a single moment. But she didn’t let that sway her.
Not yet.
‘Ne,’ he confirmed. ‘Whatever you want. As long as you don’t stop me from playing a part in his life.’ His face tightened with pain. ‘I couldn’t bear that.’
Neither could she. Her fingers shook as she grasped the document tighter. ‘So what you’re saying is that you’ve changed your mind about everything you wanted without bothering to consult me?’
‘Odessa—’
‘What makes you think I want just one child? You know that I hated growing up alone! That, like you, I wanted to find healing in a big family who love and care for each other. That I want to be the kind of mother we both wanted for our children.’
The hand he speared through his hair visibly shook. ‘I was too afraid to hope for it, Odessa. What my father and I went through...’ He stopped, and swallowed, then exhaled heavily. ‘I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And even the smallest possibility that it could happen again was unthinkable to me. It was easier to build my life around the fact that it would one day manifest in some shape or form and take steps to guard myself against it.’
She tossed the paper away, pain ripping her apart. ‘You know what I went through with my own father. What he did to my mother. How could you think that I would ever do something like that to my own child?’
A flash of shame darted over his face. ‘I didn’t. Not for the most part. But...cruelty isn’t the only weapon. When I fell deeper in love with you I felt a different sort of terror. How could you love me back when I had put my own goals in front of your desires?’ he said in a barely audible rasp.
He squeezed his eyes shut, both hands gripping his nape in a move of despair so unlike him her shattered heart bled—not for herself this time, but for him.
‘I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?’ he asked bleakly.
Her eyes fell to the paper on the floor, then she grasped his hands as he lowered them. ‘All you had to do was let me in, Ares. Talk me through what you were feeling. Then I would have told you that I’ve never stopped loving you. Not when I was sixteen and too shy to talk to the boy with the golden hazel eyes. Nor when I turned seventeen and lay with you beneath the stars, knowing it was the happiest time of my life so far. Not even when you left without saying goodbye and I cried myself to sleep for months. And I love you now because you have fulfilled one of my many dreams by becoming the father of the child I always hoped to have. All that is left now is for you to fulfil my greatest wish. Be the love of my life that I’ve prayed you’d be from the moment I saw you.’
His jaw had been gaping since she’d started speaking. Now he stared, wide-eyed, as if she was the most entrancing thing he’d ever seen, his fingers tightening around hers.
‘Thee mou, Odessa...’
‘Don’t keep me waiting, Ares,’ she implored desperately. ‘Make my dreams come true. Please.’
He took a single lunge towards her and swept her into his arms, a shudder moving through him as he folded her close. ‘Yes. I don’t deserve you, but... Please... Yes. To every single one of them. My remaining years will be devoted to you and our child...our children. I love you so much, Odessa. I’m so sorry I let the past get in the way of our future.’
She pulled back far enough to cradle his jaw. ‘And I’m so sorry about what happened to your sister.’
His eyes glittered with emotion and he swallowed before he nodded. ‘I’ve tortured myself with whether I could’ve done more...’
‘You were a child yourself. And Sergios needs to forgive himself for not reading the signs earlier. It’s time for you both to live the life she would’ve wanted you to. Remember her with love, not with pain, and honour her by being happy.’
He pressed his forehead to hers. ‘I almost let my fears get in the way. For that I’m sorry, eros mou.’
She indicated the piece of paper. ‘You were prepared to sacrifice your own wishes for me. It means the world to me, but I’m so glad we don’t have to be apart, Ares.’
Another shudder moved through him. ‘Never. For as long as I have breath in my body we will be together. Always.’
His firm, gruff vow was sealed with a deep kiss that swept away the last of her fears and misgivings, leaving only hope and ocean-deep love.
They were still kissing, still whispering fervent words of love, when a throat was cleared.
