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“I would have fought for you,” Fynn says, reading my mind as he so often has.
I rake my hands through my hair and look at him. His hair is all black tonight. The blond tips gone. His green eyes are rimmed in black and silver shadow, his already thick lashes adorned with some fake ones, a few of those silver as well. He has a diamond piercing his left nostril. Is that new? The nose ring isn’t in tonight. I like the diamond better I think.
“I have a question I’m uncertain I want the answer to, but please be honest with me,” he says.
I nod. “Fynn you and I have always been honest.”
He nods.
“Do you want to throw me up against the wall because you want to kiss me, or because it’s the closest you can get to him?”
Wow. I hesitate a beat too long and he interprets it wrong. All wrong. His features fall and dammit…I grab his chin in my hand and force his eyes back to mine. I hover over him. Our lips so close.
“I want to kiss you.” I breathe it onto his lips and inhale, trying to grab some piece of him and put it inside of me. My cock is rock hard and seeking friction. Seeking him. I wrap my hand around his lower back and tug him to me. I rut my cock against his.
“Feel that? That’s for you. That’s because of you. I want you and I want to do a hell of a lot more than kiss you…I want those luscious lips wrapped around my cock. I want you to fuck me with that talented mouth and then I want you fuck me for real…I want you to dominate me the way Nandy does you…and then I want to turn around and fuck that gorgeous ass of yours…and I want Nandy watching…giving us orders…stepping in whenever he feels like it.
“I want you both and I don’t know how to reconcile any of that in my head.”
“Then get out of your head and follow your heart.”
It takes all of five seconds for me to muscle Fynn backwards across the room and into the wall. My lips are on his and those glossy pillows are everything I dreamed they would be. And I have dreamed about them. So much, I’ve dreamed about them.
I’ve never seen Fynn naked. Never seen the cock I crave so much. Only his chest because he doesn’t seem to know how to button his shirts. I stroke along that exposed chest. It’s smooth and strong. Not the ripped defined muscles Nandy and I have. Smooth, supple and solid.
“If I’m his, then why do I miss you so damn much?”
His breath hitches.
“Call him…get him here.” I make no move to give Fynn the ability to do that, because I can’t. I’m starving for him. He groans and I lick along his throat shoving his shirt aside with my nose as I go and bite along the firm thick rope of muscle connecting his neck to shoulder. I bite hard. I want to leave a mark. I want Fynn to know I’ve been here. I want Nandy to know it too.
“You don’t want him here,” I say to Fynn and it isn’t a question.
He shakes his head. “It’s not that…it’s just…you, someone like you wanting me like this…it’s a heady feeling and I’m not quite ready to share it. When he walks in here…” he pauses. “Please, for just a few more moments I want to believe it is me that you want.”
Someone like me? Want him? God yes, I want him.
“You have no idea how beautiful and sexy you are do you?”
“Tell me,” he says. “I need to hear it…please…let me think you would want me even without him. I know it’s wrong…”
I press a finger to his lips. “I don’t just want you Fynn, I crave you.”
Chapter forty-nine
I’m not sure what Fynn wants. He didn’t make it clear when he called. Maybe he’s just horny and I’m okay with that. It’s been a minute since we fooled around. Since…TJ…since we fought about him. Since I let TJ walk out of my life. And then allowed Fynn to do the same.
Fynn made it clear he has feelings for him too and we fought. We’ve never fought before, ever. In all our years, decades of friendship, Fynn and I have never fought.
Since then we have taken a break from each other. I’ve kept my distance from the club. Let it be Fynn’s domain. I’ve taken a break from sex too. A break from everything other than music. That’s all that exists for me right now. Until I close my eyes. That’s when I miss him. Miss Fynn. Miss TJ.
Hockey season will be starting soon.
I threw away the summer. Threw away any down time he would have had to spend with me. I threw him away. Threw us away. Nothing I can do about that now.
But Fynn. I can fix that…I think….I hope. He did call me. I didn’t hesitate. It’s been long enough. Time to sit and talk or fall into bed and talk or…
All of that would be fine if the man I see when I walk through the door of our playroom is Fynn.
