AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Something about the way he says ‘you’ sends a shiver down my spine. Me. This is about sharing me? Nandy hinted at that. Hinted that he was unsure about a third. But we didn’t get to really discuss it and we haven’t all been together since.
“I’m not his,” I whisper. I want to be. So badly, I want to be. But I want to be Fynn’s too, and not just occasionally.
Fynn grins at me and presses a hand to my chest. “You’ll always be his.”
“He shares you.”
“I’m not his,” he says it wistfully, like it makes him so sad. A sadness he either can’t hide anymore or a sadness he no longer wants to hide. Denial is exhausting.
I wrap a hand around his wrist and hold his hand to my chest. I reach my other hand to his face and stroke the tips of my fingers across the length of the scar he goes to such great lengths to hide. Who did this to you, I wonder. Family? Bullies? Is this the same scar he wears on his heart? Or is the wound on his heart one Nandy put there? One he will never admit exists.
His eyes soften with my touch.
Share me. I think again. This is about me. They both have feelings for me? I find that less bothersome than I should and not just because of the powerful ego boost. I always thought Nandy was the tip of this triangle.
I’ve imagined Fynn’s pillowy lips on my cock, haven’t I? Imagined them with Nandy’s close by too, though. I’ve dreamt of them both, fucked my hand with visions of them both. I’m not sure I even realized how often my dreams are filled with all three of us until this moment. This moment where I face walking away from Fynn, too. But I have to.
“Please go,” Fynn says.
I nod and release my hold on his wrist. I’m buzzed enough…he’s beautiful enough…we’re both hurting enough…
I make my way to the door and he follows. I turn one more time and look into his eyes. So clear, and green and sad. My eyes dip to his lips and he parts them slightly. That mouth…I can’t…if I do, I know I won’t be able to stop. And neither will he.
I bend and plant my lips on the scar. He presses his face into the kiss and I think I hear a faint moan.
I hold my face next to his. When I walk out that door, I’ve lost them both. Anger and ache overtake me. So this is heartbreak. The telltale tremble flows to my hands. I clench my fists and turn away. Whether or not Fynn sees the shake in my hands, he is the one who reaches for the door handle.
“I will never be sorry yours were the first hands on me.” I run my fingers down his cheek and his eyes flutter closed. “You owe me a next time.”
His lips curve into the tiniest smile. “Come back, anytime.”
I wonder if he means it. What would he do if I take him up on that?
“But when, if, you come back, make sure it’s for me.”
My heart thumps harder. He opens the door. The door has barely clicked closed behind me before I get hit with the next blow.
I open the text from Rowan.
“She’s gone.”
Chapter forty-two
Rowan sits against a tree on the far side of the cemetery.
“I’ll go get him,” Dad says and I grab his arm. “Leave him. Let him say goodbye, however he wants to.”
Dad grumbles and said we’d better be at the house when the reception arrives. I just nod and look back at Rowan. He’s barely recognizable as the boy I have always considered a full sibling. He’s a man now. Will be officially in one more week.
I haven’t seen the tears fall yet, but I’m guessing he shed those long ago. Possibly at night, when nobody else could see. He may shed them now. He stood tall next to me when they lowered her casket into the ground. I was the one with a tremble in my fingertips. I feel responsibility for him now.
One more week.
I watch as all the cars wind their way along the road and finally out of sight. Rowan is watching too and when the last car disappears over the tiny ridge, he stands and comes my way.
“We can stay as long as you need. I can go—”
“No, I just can’t deal with all the people. People who never really knew her. People Dad is all of sudden letting into her life. He never let her friends come around when she was still healthy, but now that she’s in the ground.” He shuts his eyes tight. My heart shreds again.
