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Can she?
Should she?
Fuck.
I never thought of myself as a particularly selfish man. I never needed much. Aside from my bike, my house, and the bar, I don't buy a goddamn thing with the money I make. But when it comes to Kylie, I am selfish. Because she's the one thing in this world I can't lose.
I thought watching Jayson die in my arms was going to kill me, but I survived that shit. I don't know how because it was hell. For years, it was hell. But losing Kylie? I won't survive that. I need her like air. She's the only damn thing I've ever done right in my life.
I sink down into a chair, my head in my hands, my whole fucking world spinning out of orbit. "I can't believe I forgot her," I rasp. "I should have remembered…" She was a sweet little thing, always so fucking happy to see Jayson when we'd sneak over there. "I should have known."
"You blocked out memories of the past to survive, Memphis," Riley says gently. "Don't hate yourself for that."
"She was just a kid," Cash agrees. "She was what? Eight or nine?"
"Eleven," I whisper. "She was eleven." She was shy and sweet back then, always had her nose in a book. I guess some things don't change. She's always fuckin' reading now. And she's sweet as hell. But she grew up. She's fierce, sassy, and so goddamn beautiful. "Jayson would fucking kill me for touching her."
"Or maybe he'd be grateful that the two of you found each other," Riley counters. "It's been twelve years, Memphis. That's a long time. She's not a little girl anymore. Don't let the past mess up your future because you're clinging to ghosts instead of the woman who needs you now. The past has taken enough from both of you."
I jerk my chin in a nod because she's right. Maybe Jayson would hate me for claiming his little sister. Maybe he wouldn't. I don't fucking know. But I do know that he isn't here anymore, and she is. She's mine. I couldn't save him. But I will love her the way she deserves.
It won't absolve me. It won't bring him back. But it's the best I can do for him now. And it's what I want for her…and for me. We can't cling to the past anymore. All we have is the future and each other. If she's willing to have me, and I think she is, then I'm not fuckin' letting her go. Not for her brother's sake. Not for anyone.
Can she love me? I don't know. Should she love me? Hell no. After what I did, I'm the last motherfucker she should let into her heart. I wouldn't blame her if she wants to slip a knife between my ribs and cut mine the fuck out. But I'm not giving her a choice.
She's mine, and I'm not giving her up. I'll find a way to smash through every wall she places between us, to convince her that I can be a man worthy of her. I'll find a way to conquer her heart, the same fucking way she's stolen mine.
"I need to see her."
"Yeah, you do," Riley says quietly. "But before you go…I found something else we need to talk about."
I glance up at her, my brows furrowed. "Can it wait?"
She shakes her head, her expression serious…worried. "How well do you know Clive Jepson?"
"Who?"
"Clive Jepson, um, Venom. The bouncer at your bar, Memphis."
My fucking heart skips a beat, my stomach twisting into knots. "Why?"
She exhales a breath. "Because when I was looking into Kylie, I learned that she isn't the only one connected to your past. So is he."
"What the fuck?" I stare at her, shell-shocked. "What the fuck does Venom have to do with my past?"
"His brother was a Graceland Reaper, Memphis," Cash says, handing the baby to Riley as she starts to fuss. He hits me with a look that lets me know he knows a helluva lot more about what I did back then that he's ever said. Whether or not his wife does, I don't know. But Cash knows. "He went missing the same day everyone in your MC was killed."
"Jesus," I breathe.
"He probably died in the attack," Riley says softly.
Cash shoots me a hard look—one that tells me without words to keep my fucking mouth shut. If that's what his wife believes, that's what he wants her to keep on believing. I don't think that look has anything to do with protecting me and my secret, though. It has everything to do with protecting her and her innocence.
In her world, the people she loves are inherently good, incapable of doing evil things. That's how her world works. That's what keeps it functioning. He needs to protect that belief, even if it means letting her believe a lie about who I really am and what I've done. He'd kill for her, no questions asked.
But he'll never have to do that, because darkness never touches her world. He doesn't allow it to do so. That's the kind of man I want to be for Kylie. That's the future I want her to have—one unmarred by darkness or evil deeds or people. That's the life I want to give her.
And I have feeling Venom is standing in the fucking way.
