AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Do you want me to go?” I ask.
I don’t want to leave.
I want to sit here with her and talk about how we could be in each other’s lives. She’s just had a baby. But I’m not her clueless ex. I won’t attempt to force myself into a space where I’m not welcome.
“No. Please don’t go.” She finally meets my gaze, and her beautiful brown eyes are filled with unshed tears. Her words catch me off guard. “Stay…I just…there’s so much we have to talk about.”
I slip my arm around her shoulders. “Hey, hey, it’s all right,” I say, brushing away a stray tear with my thumb. “I’m not going anywhere. Not if you don’t want me to. We don’t even need to talk right now. I know you’re probably feeling all over the place, considering everything that’s gone on in the last few days. Let’s just sit and enjoy each other’s company.”
“I can’t.” She pulls away from me, shifting on the couch until we are no longer touching. “Not until I tell you…”
She stops herself.
“Tell me what?”
Lizzie looks me in the eyes, her face set with determination. She opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. After a moment of frustration, she does it again, and this time, she’s able to speak.
“You’re Isaac’s father.”
I don’t hear her words at first.
I see her mouth move—I know she spoke.
But it takes my brain a good five seconds to actually register what she said. A million thoughts slam into me at once, but I can’t get a handle on a single one of them.
“I’m sorry…come again?” I ask.
She purses her lips before she responds: “Dillan, you’re Isaac’s father. Isaac is your son. Our son.”
I stare at her, trying to process the information.
Suddenly, her behavior at the hospital makes a lot more sense. And once the realization that I had helped deliver my own son hits me, I get to my feet and start to pace.
For the first time in my life, I’m at a loss for words and actions.
I can feel Lizzie’s eyes on me as I pace, but I can’t bring myself to meet them.
Not yet.
Okay.
I’m a father. I have a son.
The woman I’m in love with gave birth to my kid. Process this.
God damn it, Dillan, figure out how to process this.
Of course, berating myself doesn’t help. It can’t be forced. I have to allow the minutes to go by while my brain restarts itself. Somewhere in the haze of surprise, I feel a spark of happiness. I have always told myself that I was not destined for fatherhood. There has never been any doubt in my mind.
And yet…
I look over at Isaac, watching his small face as he drinks his bottle, eyelids drooping with fatigue.
The feeling that hit me when I held him earlier returns full force, and I suddenly realize what it is.
It’s love. Instant, pure love for this small being that Lizzie and I created together.
At first, I think it’s because he’s part of Lizzie. I love her, so of course that means all of her, even her son. But it’s much more primal than that. I reacted to him that way because deep down, I must have known.
