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“Do you want more children?” she asks me, reaching for my hand. “We’ve never talked about it.”
“Yeah, I do.” If it means having them with Polly, I’ll have a dozen more. “I like kids, and I’ve discovered that I’m kind of good at being a dad.”
“You’re an excellent dad,” she says with a soft smile. “I don’t have any question about that.”
“What about you? Do you want kids?” I’m watching every emotion cross her beautiful face. There’s hope and fear and then hope again.
“Yes. Definitely. But I wasn’t planning on it happening now. I’ve worked really hard on my business, and I love the IWC.”
“No one said anything about you giving those things up.”
“But my attention will be split,” she says.
“Erin and Abbi do it. London does it. And I hate to be the one to point this out to you, but I’m here, too. I have no intention of giving up my businesses, either. We have families, and we can hire help if we need it.”
She bites her lip and nods. “I guess that’s true.”
“Hey.” I lean in closer and drag my fingertips down her jawline. “Be brutally honest with me. What has you hesitating? Do you want to end the pregnancy?”
“No,” she says immediately, and my shoulders drop with relief. “Okay, I’m just going to purge out everything that’s running through my head.”
“Great. I’d love for you to do that.”
“I feel so guilty,” she says, surprising me. “I assured you that I had the birth control covered, and I did. I do. I can be really forgetful, but never when it comes to that. I have alarms set. I would never be irresponsible when it comes to that.”
“I know you wouldn’t.”
“But when we went to Paris, my alarms got screwy because of the time change. I didn’t even think of it, and I feel so stupid because I should have thought of it. It makes total sense. And now, I’m pregnant, and I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to trap you or that I’m some kind of gold-digging asshole, and I know people are going to talk, and that makes me so mad. I don’t like surprises like this. Having a family isn’t something that should sneak up on you. We should have had the chance to do it on our own terms, when we were ready.”
She swipes at tears, and it just about rips my heart out of my chest.
“And you’re so stoic about it. Jake was excited. He isn’t mad at all that I’m bringing another baby into the family, and it’s going to take your attention away from him. He took it really well, but you haven’t even cracked a smile, and I’m afraid that you think I’m a gold digger and that you want me to end the pregnancy, but I don’t want to do that. I’m just confused, and if you were excited, I think I’d get more excited. But I just found out today, and I’m totally freaking out.”
“Breathe.” I kiss her forehead as she takes a deep breath. “Honey, I am excited. I’m fucking thrilled, but I’ve been trying to keep that in check because I can see that you have conflicting emotions about this, and I’m trying to support you.”
“Okay, but show me that you’re happy.”
I laugh and kiss her, framing her face and breathing her in, relieved that she’s safe and whole and here with me.
“I love you,” I tell her, feeling a little panic when her eyes fill again. “I told you that the other night, and I’ve told you every day since.”
“I love you, too,” she whispers.
“This doesn’t change that. Not at all. If anything, I love you more. Babe, I intend to build a life with you. That’s what I meant when I said move in here with us. We’re starting a life together, and now that includes someone new.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” She sniffs and takes another breath, readjusting the ice on her knee. “I wish we had more time together before this happened.”
“We’re going to have time,” I assure her. “This baby isn’t an imposition. No more than Jake would be. Sure, it’s quicker than we thought, but we just pivot, babe. I live my life pivoting, and it’s going pretty well for me so far.”
She smiles at me, those beautiful green eyes finally full of happiness and hope. “We’re having a baby, Ryan Wild.”
“It’s a good thing I built a big house.” I kiss her softly. “We have lots of space for a dozen babies.”
“A dozen.” She laughs and drags her hand down my chest. “Let’s start with one and see how that goes.”
“I can live with that.” I pull my fingertips down her jawline. “You are every wildest dream I’ve ever had come true. As long as we’re together, we’ll figure everything else out.”
“You say some really sweet things, you know.”
