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“Good. Why are you here?”
“Stealing food.” Ogling a hot, gorgeous man who has taste… “Doing my job.”
“I’ve been alone. You’ve been my only downfall.”
His words sit in the air, a little too bright and loaded with meaning I don’t know how to unpick, or even if I should.
“So, what’s your plan for today?”
He shrugs, letting it go. “Get through the whole mind numbing event. I’m going to be scrutinized by my mother, I can tell you that and you’ve no fucking idea how much that irritates me. Almost as much as…” He trails off then seems to switch tracks. “I’ll get through it.”
We finish eating, then I say, “I can find the perfect outfit for you.”
“Actually, something arrived this morning, which is why I worked from home. I’ll be back in fifteen.”
He’s back in ten minutes and my heart stops beating. The suit is one we decided on for Ryder 2.0. It’s dark maroon, so dark it could be black and the perfect level of conservative with a hint of dashing thrown in. The cut’s modern, and the tie is rich blues and blacks and he looks good enough to devour slowly.
“You don’t need me anymore. It looks better than I imagined.”
“I do,” he says quietly, gravely. “I need you. I’m glad you’re here and we’re talking like we used to. So, want to come with me?”
I’m just wearing a pencil skirt with a fitted jacket. I probably look good enough to open a door for him. But he looks at me like I shine.
“I…I have to work. For you.”
“This is work,” he says with a smile and holds out his arm. “Come on, Perry. Come be bored out of your brain with me. Though, I know with you by my side, that’s not going to happen. I like you, Elliot. And, you like me. We work. So…what do you say?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ryder
Elliot’s face tells me a lot of stories about what I said, and none of them have a happy ending.
Fuck, why the hell did I say we work, and why am I tied up in knots when I’m around her?
She doesn’t answer me, simply looks at my arm and starts to tidy the kitchen, putting the papers from the food in the trash and the cups in the dishwasher and through it, the silence grows.
Does she still think I was up to something with those numbers? I should have said something when I saw her, like I’d normally do, make a joke and not get…panicked.
That’s not me.
But a lot of this isn’t me. Anyone other than Elliot and I’d have just showed them or forgotten them and if found, I’d…yeah, have done things differently. Been me.
Thing is, she thinks I’m some kind of trash. She thinks I’m fickle and shallow and all the things I’ve never cared about when it comes to someone else. As in my image or what they think. Like me or not, judge me or not, I never cared because I know who I am. I play the field hard when it comes to personal and I work the room harder when it comes to business.
I respect women, I love women. I just never wanted to settle down. Never felt the need to. Never thought about it. And I’m not thinking about it now. No, I’m just thinking about how I look. And it’s not good.
Ryder the player. Ryder the man whore. Ryder the fuck boy. In it for nothing more than sensory pleasure and himself. Yeah, I love fucking, I love touching, kissing, I love pleasure. And like most people, of course, I’m into pleasure for myself. But I love giving it, too. Sharing pleasure and a moment with someone. Lots of different someones. Again, it doesn’t make me look good.
Yet, I haven’t thought about other women in the way Elliot thinks I do, the way I admittedly have before I met her. Sure, I’ve looked. I’m a guy. It’s what we do. But more often than not, I find myself comparing them to her.
Oh, Jesus. I’ve lost my mind.
It’s because I like her and don’t simply want to fuck her. I want to talk to her and laugh and spend time with her. No doubt, that’s just the spell she weaves, and it’ll wear off. Of course it will.
One thing’s come from this, and that’s I do want to change. Not be a boring bore from boredom world, but someone who garners respect in all aspects of his life. Someone a woman like Elliot would like and respect. Someone a woman like Elliot might want.
I clear my throat. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it—you don’t need to be bored.”
