AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Because yeah, I lost control.
“You’re rebuffing me.”
“Yes.” I push the word out. “That’s what we’re doing, right? Playing a game?”
And as I say that, I don’t want this to be a game. I’m not sure what it is I want it to be, other than real. Something that’s going to happen because we both want each other. Want each other beyond a stupid game. Beyond the roles we have. Beyond the stakes and the job I hired her to do.
Holy fuck. I like her.
That’s why I took it too far. I like her.
The knowledge sinks down into the marrow of my bones.
And I don’t know what to do with it. She’s meant to be my friend and I’ve crossed a line and into a lust situation. I like her, I’m attracted to her and how the fuck do I say that without sounding like, well, Ryder Sinclair? The guy who doesn’t date, who doesn’t have relationships, how does he tell a woman he’s found he likes that he likes her as in not just friendship?
I’m like some kind of awkward fucking kid.
She thinks I’m a horn dog, a fuck boy. She’s told me I’m a fuck boy. She’s called me a man whore. And…she’s not wrong. I still don’t see anything wrong with that because it’s who and what I am and I don’t judge anyone else on that. But I like her.
Liking and wanting something beyond fucking her are different worlds. I don’t know what I want in that regard. Beyond the sex. If I want anything.
“Were we?”
There’s a note in her voice that makes bells ring inside in the distance. Not good bells, either. But what is it she wants?
We’re different people. Hardwired in completely incompatible ways. I’m betting Elliot’s never had a one-night stand. Never gone out on the town to find someone just to fuck and forget.
I’ve never gone looking for a picket fence. Or even a rental with someone.
Again, I don’t know what to do with any of that.
Seems like the great fucking Ryder Sinclair doesn’t know anything at all except that he wants to fuck the redhead in the room, who wants to see if her tits fit his hands perfectly once more.
“Wasn’t that the point of all this?”
She kicks me. Not hard, it’s more a shove and I don’t blame her. I’m being a bastard.
“No, Ryder. You weren’t supposed to teach me a lesson. That’s cruel.”
“I’m not being cruel, Elliot. I’m not a cruel person. You can think of me what you want, think I’m worth nothing, but I’m never cruel to someone.” I stop, get to my feet and pour myself a whiskey neat, down it and do it again. Setting the glass down, I grip the edge of the wet bar. “At least, not deliberately.”
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Because…” Shit. She might be attracted to me. I’m not an idiot. And there’s chemistry. I’m never an idiot about that. But Elliot’s made it clear what she thinks of me, and she sees me as a failure in some fundamental way. “You were there.”
“I was there? That’s the answer? The other kisses, they happened because others were there, but Ryder, you crossed a line here.”
“Of course I did. Isn’t that me all over? Isn’t that why I hired you? Because I’m the fuck up who won’t stop giving?”
Something lands next to the bar and I look down and shake my head. “I’m not sure what I’m more astounded by…the fact you threw a shoe at me or you own Jimmy Choos.”
“I can’t have pretty things?”
“You can and you should,” I say, turning to face her.
Her eyes are too big. They’re vulnerable and her clothes are disheveled, along with her hair. She looks glorious. She also holds her other shoe in her hands like she wants to aim it at my head this time.
“Do you take anything seriously? I thought you wanted this.”
