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“I understand,” I said. “It’s hard to sit back and watch someone you love piss all over their own legs. Remember, my mom is in the same boat as yours. I can sympathize with Nick as a young man. He just wants her to be home and safe.”
Mia looked like she was taking my advice on Nick pretty well. She didn’t start yelling or accusing me of taking sides. I felt like the foot massage I laid on her helped with that, or maybe she was truly letting her guard down with me more and actually respected what I had to say.
“Am I missing something here?” she smiled curiously. “Did you leave and come back as a different person? When did you get so good at talking someone down?”
I laughed because it felt like my first therapy session did me some good that day. I didn’t expect to see results so fast, but I was glad that I could be of some assistance to her.
“I think you’d be proud to know that I started therapy today,” I said. “I had a long talk with myself about my life and how I want things to be, moving forward. Not just with you and me, but with everything. My mom included. My captain says therapy would help get my mind right, so I'm giving it a shot.”
“Well!” she started to clap. “That is awesome. I am proud of you. A lot of people think therapy is a waste of time, but you see how much of a difference it makes?”
Talking with Mia about her problems made me appreciate being in her presence even more. I enjoyed the intimate time we spent, not just having sex but talking, laughing, and sharing energy with one another. It was refreshing to say the least.
For so many years I had yearned to hold her in my arms again, to hear her voice; feel her touch, and I finally got the chance again. If going to therapy meant getting myself back to a happy space again with Mia, I told myself I would go every day.
“What am I going to do about Nick?” she asked. “I really don’t want to see him go down the wrong path, but he won’t listen to me. He thinks he’s got it all figured out, until something happens, and he has to call me for help.”
“I mean, there isn’t much you can do,” I said. “It’s unfortunate, but Nick has been handling himself as a man for a long time now. Your mom made him feel that way so he thinks no one can tell him anything. I hate to say it, but he’ll have to learn the hard way.”
I could sense that my comment rubbed Mia the wrong way. She didn't want to hear anything negative about her little brother and I understood that, but it was the truth. Nick lived a life that Mia hadn’t been a part of for years. She couldn't expect him to let her control what moves he made and what moves he didn’t.
“Listen,” I said. “Nick is a smart kid. I know it’s worrisome to let him run wild and do what he wants, but you have to let him make his mistakes early on in life. It’s the only way he’ll be able to set clear intentions for himself. If he wants to stray down the wrong road, despite all the effort you put in to steer him straight, you can’t hold that against yourself.”
Mia took her feet from my hands and crawled into my arms again. She was comfortably buried in my chest. So much so, she fell asleep after a while of talking. She'd been up all night worrying about her mom and Nick, and just needed someone to hold her. I was happy that someone was me.
When she went off to bed for the evening, I went into my room and started on a few exercises. I felt weak in the arms and legs, but there wasn't much I could do about my legs so soon. My dumbbells and pull up bar gave me a nice pump for my arms, and also got my blood flowing to other parts of my brain.
I started thinking about my mom and how far gone she was in her lifestyle. However, instead of becoming angry with her again, I wondered what pain she held onto that made her choose the life she chose. I knew bits and pieces of her struggle with my dad and her parents, but not much.
I realized I never really took the time to dig deep with her because I didn't feel like it was my job to. It wasn’t, but I could have been a little more patient and had more compassion for the struggles she faced alone.
When I got so deep in thought about her, she ended up calling me. She never called me unless she was on her binge or wanted money for something. It got so bad at one point I told her to never call me again. Of course, her staying away didn’t last long. She needed money for something or another, and I needed to hear her voice again.
“I’m just calling to check in with you,” she said. “How are you holding up at the cabin all by yourself?”
“I’m fine. Mia's here with me, so I'm not alone. Uncle Joe’s been coming up to check in too.”
She hated it when I mentioned my uncle. She was so angry with him for stepping up and doing what she should have done as a mother, she never knew how to thank him instead of hating him.
“Mia’s back in town, huh?” she cooed. “That’s good. I like Mia. She was always such a sweet girl. Very pretty too. Are you two making things right again?”
“Something like that,” I said. “We’re taking it slow; day by day.”
Conversations were always awkward with my mom. We never really knew what to say to each other, we only knew that we wanted each other’s company. Sometimes I got so frustrated with her and lashed out but in the end, I cared about my mom more than she knew.
“What have you been up to mom? Have you been taking care of yourself and staying on track?”
“I’ve been doing just fine, son,” she assured me. “I lost my way for a while, but I got a grip. Your uncle doesn't think so, but he doesn't know me too well. I don't think either of you do.”
“That’s because you don’t give us a chance to,” I said. “Uncle Joe loves you and just wants what’s best for you. I don’t know why you hate him so bad.”
The phone went silent, and I knew what that meant; she shut down. My mom never wanted to talk about her problems and after going to therapy earlier that day, I realized I couldn’t force her to. She had to open up in her own time.
Chapter Eighteen ~ Mia
“Hey sleepyhead, wake up.”
I felt a light nudge on my shoulder and rolled over to see who was there. It was Brayden. Apparently, I slept throughout the night and had until late the next morning, and he was there to wake me up. Without breakfast.
