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The thought of her being free to continue her reckless lifestyle triggered me into anger. It made me think of all the sleepless nights I had as a child, worrying about where she was and if she was okay. Nick didn’t know the struggles I faced while being a daughter to our mother. He was too young then, and he was still too young to see the dangers that lay ahead.
I sat in my car in my mom's driveway for a good hour. I was lost in thought on what to do; wavering back and forth between bailing her out and letting her wallow in her agony. When I saw Nick come through the front door and lock the house up behind him, I sprang into action to stop him from doing anything he would regret.
“Nick, where are you going?” I got out of the car and stepped into his path. “How do you plan on coming up with enough money to get her out? You don’t have a job or anything.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “You don’t want to help, so don’t feel entitled to any information from me. I'll do what I have to do.”
“Oh really?” I snapped my neck at him. “So, you’re a grown man now? When you do something stupid and get yourself sent to jail too, do you think you’ll be able to handle that?”
His eyes were dark and piercing. It was as if he was looking directly through me. There was no emotion, no concern for his own safety or future, there was nothing.
“Nick, you better think about your next moves good and hard before you make them,” I said. “I can’t tell you what to do or force you to listen to me, but just now, I'm still your big sister and I have nothing but your best interest at heart. But if you think for one second that I'll come to your rescue after I tried to intervene, you’re sadly mistaken, kid. I'm done being the fallback guy for this entire family. I'm done being taken advantage of and only called upon when you all need something. So, like I said, make your next move your best move.”
Nick didn’t respond and I didn’t continue to push. He walked away into the night, and I drove away trying to wrap my head around the problem between him and I. When I drove away, I had every intention of going back to the cabin and turning the other cheek, but when I thought about Nick getting himself into trouble by trying to help our mom, I turned around to search for him.
I drove the streets for hours looking for him. It was pointless because I had no idea where any of his friends went, I had no idea where he liked to hang out or where any of the kids hung out in Big Bear.
When the sun started to rise, I gave up my search and headed over to the jail. I gave up on my promise too. I thought the only way to save Nick from making the same mistakes as our mom and older brother was to push my feelings aside and bail her out. However, when I got to the jail and learned that mom had no bail; she was ordered to sit there until the judge felt like she was ready to release her, I lost hope.
Chapter Seventeen ~ Brayden
Therapy became my main focus after my talk with Mia. I wanted to be better not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I wanted to be a well-rounded man so that I could right my wrongs with everything that went wrong in my life.
When I got to the cabin after a long morning of therapy, I saw Mia on the couch with a half empty bottle of wine and a box of tissues. I thought she might have been emotional about us and the talk we had, but I was surprised to know that there were other hassles going on in her life.
“What’s going on, Mia?”
I hobbled over to the couch and took a seat beside her. She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she lifted my arm and snuggled into my chest.
“Is everything okay?” I asked. “Did something happen while I was out?”
“A lot happened,” she sighed. “I got a call from Nick in the middle of the night telling me my mom is in jail.”
My heart sank in my chest for her. Naomi had been a thorn in Mia's side for as long as I could remember, and it didn’t seem to be coming to a halt anytime soon.
“He got angry and stormed off when I refused to pay her bail. Then, when I broke down and decided I might as well pay it to keep him from doing something stupid to try and pay it himself, I found out that she had no bail. She has to sit until the judge releases her and who the hell knows when that will be.”
“Oh man,” I said. “That’s tough. I know how much Nick is attached to her, but he can’t run off getting himself put in the same situation. Where does he think he’ll get the money from?”
“Beats me. I haven’t seen or heard from him since he ran off. I rode around looking for him all night. No sign of him.”
I knew where Nick liked to hang out. I only knew because my squad had to go up there a few times when the neighbors would call and report a fire burning in the woods. It was a small hangout near a waterhole in the woods. I was sure that was where he’d be if she couldn’t find him anywhere else.
“I just don’t get it,” she said. “After all we’ve been through with her, why does he have so much love for her? Can't he see that she’s toxic and only thinks of herself? Doesn't he know that the best place for her to be right now is in jail or a rehab center? If she keeps going the way she’s been going, I fear she’ll end up hurting herself or doing something that will get her a lot more time than what she’s probably facing now.”
I felt for Mia and her brother. From experience, I knew how hard it was to detach myself away from my own mother. I dealt with a lot from her but when I came to my senses and realized that she didn’t want to fix her problems, I had to make the decision to walk away.
While Mia vented her frustrations, I maneuvered her around so that her feet were in my lap, and I massaged them. There wasn’t much else I could do to offer her any comfort in the situation, so I did something I used to do when we were in love.
“Your mom will see the light eventually,” I said. “She's a lot stronger than we like to give her credit for.”
“Oh yeah?” Mia scoffed. “don’t tell me you have a soft spot for her too. It must be a guy thing. Guys love their moms to no end, huh?”
“I guess so,” I said. “There will come a point in Nick's life when he sees the reality a lot clearer than he does now. Just give him some time. We've all made mistakes and we’ve all been attached to something we couldn't let go of.”
I was speaking of my attachment to Mia. For the longest time after our breakup, I had the hardest time letting her go. I thought about her every day. Everything reminded me of her. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and I was angry all the time because of it. Mia was no stranger to holding onto things longer than she was supposed to either.
“I just don’t want him to end up like them, you know?” she asked. “Nick is young and still has a lot of paving to do in his life. He needs to get a job and go to school, make friends, travel; see the world outside of this place and the hellhole my mom has him living in. I just don’t want him to throw his life away before it even begins.”
