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“Okay,” I agree, twisting back around. “I’ll meet you down there in a few hours.”
I don’t honestly know what to wear horseback riding, other than boots. I opt for a pair of jeans and a soft, black cotton t-shirt that fits me nicely, all too aware of the fact that I’m overthinking about Gabriel’s opinion of my clothes. It shouldn’t matter what he thinks of what I’m wearing, but unfortunately, it does.
I head down to the stables once I’m dressed, walking up to the paddock just in time to see one of the staff leading the ponies into the stable, Cecelia and Danny heading to one of the cars with Aldo. Gabriel sees me, and for a brief second, when our eyes meet, I see his face light up.
It reminds me of what Clara said. That maybe we’re both going to talk ourselves out of something good, because we’re afraid.
What if that’s true?
“I had them saddle a very calm horse for you,” Gabriel says with a grin, as I approach. “You’ve never ridden before, right?”
I shake my head. “Definitely not.”
“Alright. Well, Honey won’t do anything that you don’t want her to. She’s a little older, and very calm.” He guides me towards the stable’s aisle, where I see two horses tied. One is a pretty golden brown, with a white streak down her face and white socks. She looks at me with lazy brown eyes, chewing on a carrot that the young man putting on her saddle feeds her as she stands there.
“I assume that’s Honey?”
Gabriel chuckles. “You assume correctly.” He nods towards the other horse—tall, lean, and dark grey with a black mane and tail, stomping restlessly next to Honey. “That’s Thunder. He’s a bit more fractious. But nothing that will cause problems. He’s a retired racehorse.”
“Oh.” I eye Thunder with some suspicion. I definitely wouldn’t want to get on him—he looks like he wants a good run, and it also looks like it’s a long way to fall off of him. Honey is shorter and stockier, which makes me feel better.
“I’ll help you up.” Gabriel waits for the young man to finish, and then unclips Honey, leading her up to a wooden block set near the entrance to the stable. “Just step up on this, and I’ll help boost you. Honey will just stand here once you’re on her back, while you get settled and I get on Thunder.”
I nod, feeling nerves coil tightly in my stomach. But I do want to try. I’ve conquered fears that felt far more insurmountable than this, and I don’t want a horse to be the thing that I can’t manage.
Gabriel’s hand rests on my hip as I step up on the block. My stomach immediately tightens, a rush of heat washing over me, and my hand tightens on the front of the saddle where it is resting. I can feel his touch like a brand, even through the denim of my jeans, and my heart beats faster, my pulse throbbing in the hollow of my throat.
When he helps push me up, his hand leaving my hip almost immediately, I have to swallow back my disappointment at the loss of his touch. I wanted his hand to stay there, and I push the thought away immediately, as fast as I can.
Instead, I watch as he walks down the aisle, unhooking Thunder and putting one foot in a stirrup. He swings up easily onto the tall, dark grey horse, making it look effortless, and gathers the reins in his hands as Thunder dances sideways, clearly eager to be on his way.
“It’s been a while since I’ve ridden,” Gabriel says wryly. “But it comes back.”
“Clearly.” I would never have known he hadn’t spent all of his time on horseback. He looks relaxed and elegant atop his horse, his dark hair swept back, curling slightly where it’s tucked behind his ears. In the late afternoon light, as Honey follows him and Thunder out, I notice how much more tanned he’s gotten, his muscles lean and taut under the skin. The summer here has been good for him, too.
“I’ll take you down the trail that leads to a different lake,” Gabriel says, slowing Thunder so that Honey can catch up. I don’t know much about horses, but it’s clear from the way Thunder is prancing that if Gabriel let him, he’d be off like a shot. Meanwhile, Honey is practically lumbering, which is fine with me. It feels strange enough, having to adjust to another creature’s gait underneath me, without having to deal with all of that energy.
“Is it safe to go out that far?” I glance around, feeling a flicker of unease.
“There’s security following us from a distance. And I have groups of them patrolling the entire estate, on rotation.” Gabriel’s voice is tight as he says it; I can tell that he’d rather have privacy for this. But we both know it’s a necessity, right now.
“You’ve been out here before?”
“Often, when I was younger. Once or twice since coming back, I’ve ridden out partway, just to look at things. I used to ride all over the property when I was a kid. Honey was younger then—I learned on her until I could handle the more energetic horses.” He laughs. “I got pretty good at it, even if I’m out of practice now.”
“You’d never know.” I glance over at him, admiring how he looks. “You look like you belong here.”
He looks at me, and there’s a flash of something on his face—regret, maybe? I can’t be sure. “I suppose I used to. It feels like it’s all moved on without me, since I’ve been back. Like it doesn’t really need me. But it deserves more than for me to not have the time to put real effort into it. Someone else could do better.”
I bite my lip, unsure of what to say. I have plenty of thoughts about the situation, but I don’t know if Gabriel wants to hear any of them. And it seems clear that he’s already made up his mind. He’s already started selling off the horses.
“This used to be one of my favorite places on the property.” We’re nearing a treeline, and Gabriel turns Thunder, leading us down a trail that winds through the trees. “It’s always quiet and peaceful. And the view from the lake is gorgeous.”
There’s a soft breeze blowing, the sound of birds chirping in the trees, and I can feel myself relaxing. I trust that Gabriel wouldn’t take us out here if he didn’t think it was safe, and as I get used to the rhythm of being on Honey, it starts to feel soothing. The sun is warm, but this late in the afternoon, it’s not uncomfortable. And, as we ride, I’m hit once again with the feeling of wishing that we could stay.
That feeling only amplifies when the trees open up, the path winding out of them and leading to a large field of grass in front of another, larger, shimmering blue lake. There are more of those wildflowers scattered along the bank, and Gabriel rides up to one of the trees at the very edge, getting off of Thunder and tying his reins to a branch.
“Can you get down?” he asks with a smile, and I wrinkle my nose at him.
