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I let out a keening sound, half whimper, half moan, and Gabriel sucks at my lower lip, still rocking against me. “The first man you ever touched,” he growls, the words vibrating against my mouth as he sweeps his tongue over my lip, thrusting it into my mouth as his hips thrust against mine, a rhythm that brings back the memory of him inside of me with a hot rush. “The first man who ever fucked you?—”
He kisses me again, tongue tangling with mine, hand bracing against the bookshelf as the other wraps in my hair, his fingers curling around the nape of my neck. I arch against him, the feeling of his jeans and the lace of my panties abrading my clit a wonderful, rough, almost painful pleasure, and I cry out, gasping as I roll my hips against him, chasing an orgasm.
“Don’t stop,” I whimper against his lips, bucking harder as I feel the pleasure build. “Please don’t stop.”
“Ask me to make you come.” His voice is a demanding growl, his lips never leaving mine. He shudders against me, and I can feel him throbbing, hard as an iron bar behind the zipper of his jeans.
I want him to fuck me. I can see it so clearly—him lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist, jerking down his zipper, and yanking my panties to one side, thrusting all of that hard, hot length up into me. I moan into the kiss, desperate for more, and I try to reach between us.
His hand closes around my wrist, yanking it up against the shelf. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to remind me who’s in charge, and pleasure blooms through my veins.
“Ask me,” he rasps, and I let out a sobbing moan. I’m so close. His thrusts have slowed, but the hard ridge of his cock is still rubbing against me, and right now, I feel like I’d do anything to come. Anything to spill over the edge of the release I’m so close to.
“Please,” I whisper, my head falling back against the spines, my eyes closed as I strain against him. “Please make me come, Gabriel, please?—”
His mouth drops to my throat, lips dragging a hot line down to my shoulder as he tugs one strap down, his lips leaving a hard, sucking bite on my shoulder as he grinds into me. I forget that anyone outside the library could hear us, that we could be caught, that we shouldn’t be doing this at all in the blinding heat of the pleasure that floods me, one leg wrapping around his as I buck against him and cry out his name as he jerks his mouth away from my shoulder and crushes it against mine.
“Oh fuck—” He groans, his hand dropping to my hip as he thrusts into me, his entire body shuddering as I come apart against him. “Oh god, Bella, fuck?—”
For a moment, neither of us moves. I’m pinned to the bookshelf, his body holding me there, and his forehead is pressed to mine, our breath coming in sharp, hot gasps. I feel him pulsing against me, his hips still twitching as he tries to catch his breath, and I realize with a stunned jolt what just happened.
He made me come—but I made him come, too. Without either of us taking our clothes off.
A flood of fresh desire prickles over my skin at the realization. Gabriel seems to have a different reaction as he pries himself away from me, one hand still gripping the shelf next to me as he tugs my dress back into place. “Shit,” he breathes, angling himself away from me. “God, Bella, I?—”
There’s a flush on his face that, if I had to guess, is embarrassment. “Don’t apologize,” I manage, my voice coming out thickly. “I don’t think I can stand it if you apologize to me right now, Gabriel.”
“I feel like a fucking teenager again,” he mutters, still unable to quite meet my eyes. “Coming like that?—”
“That was one of the hottest things you’ve ever done.” I manage to straighten a little, although I’m not entirely sure my knees aren’t going to give out on me. “Like you couldn’t even wait. You lost control, and it was?—”
“Unforgivable?”
“So fucking hot.”
We say it at the same time, and Gabriel’s eyes widen, then narrow. “I grabbed you, Bella. I did things that I know you don’t?—”
“It’s okay.” I smooth my hands down my skirt, not knowing what else to do with them right now. “I know you’d never hurt me. It made it okay. It made it—good. I didn’t know that it would until it happened, but?—”
We stare at each other for a long moment. I want to ask him to take me upstairs to bed. To crawl beneath the covers and take all our clothes off together, to kiss and touch until he’s hard again, so he can be inside of me the way I wanted so badly a moment ago.
But I also know all of the reasons why we shouldn’t do that. All of the reasons why this was supposed to end, the morning after Gabriel took my virginity.
All of those reasons still exist. This doesn’t change any of them.
“We’re right back where we started,” I whisper, thinking of that night out by the pool, when he told me how to touch myself for him. That first morning in the gym, when he made me come by touching nothing more than my breasts, and I touched him for the first time. “We can’t do all of this again.”
Gabriel’s gaze snaps up to meet mine, but I can see the resignation in his eyes. There’s disappointment there, too, and it makes my chest feel tight.
I’d told myself that maybe he didn’t want me any longer, now that we’d had one night together. That I was imagining the tension between us. That him kissing me on the plane was just adrenaline and wanting someone—not necessarily me.
But what just happened between us makes it painfully clear that nothing has changed. That he wants me just as much as he ever has. As much as I want him.
It makes it hurt that much more when he nods. “You’re right,” he says quietly. “We agreed. This can’t happen again.”
His gaze holds mine for a long moment, and my heart beats faster in my chest, every part of me already aching for him to touch me again. The fact that we’ve just agreed that it shouldn’t happen again somehow makes it even harder to not reach for him, to not say that I was wrong, and beg him for more. It makes it more tantalizing than before.
He takes a step back, as if he can see the lingering desire in my face. I think I see it in his, too. But he turns, his jaw set, and walks away.
