Page 29 of Hot Life

Because there was more than enough love to share. And I’d learned that love wasn’t something you divided and divvied up. Love, in its purest form, was something to be given freely, ever expanding. Larger than the heavens and deeper than the oceans.

And we’d scale those depths forever. All of us.

Together.

years later

RUBY SNOW QUEEN WINSLOW-GREGORY

We traveled here every year, just as autumn whispered its transition from the grueling southern summers. We’d climb this familiar mountaintop in Washington and spend a few days before camping on the beach. I wasn’t fond of camping and wasn’t looking forward to it with a one-year-old baby. But my family was more than enough help with a curious toddler. As much as I’d rather be glamping in a fancy yurt, it did give me the opportunity to pull out my sketch book and draw the lush florals and foliage surrounding us. Dad even loaned me his fancy camera for my studies. I hoped to be a botanist someday. Maybe when Declan was older, I could pursue college. My family urged me to now, but I held back, claiming it was for my son, but I had my own fears and insecurities to work through first. The truth was, I’d been left heartbroken after Declan’s father left. I wasn’t sure how to move forward. But like Dad said, going to the mountains and into nature was a good start. Maybe my mother’s whales would speak to me the way they seemed to speak to her.

Mom found me sitting on the cliff’s edge with my notebook. She passed me a steaming cup of coffee and smiled, her freckled cheeks rosy. Just like mine. In fact, everyone said I looked exactly like my mom. Sometimes I wondered where the other half of my DNA came from. Not that it mattered, or changed anything, but the scientist in me was always curious. Some days I had the same adventurous, devil-may-care sense of freedom of my dad. Other days, I was as careful, thoughtful, and reserved as my papa. I loved my dads so incredibly much. My mom and moms were my best friends, and at the same time, I’d always been a daddies’ girl. I recalled the T-ball games my dad taught growing up. He helped me perfect my swing, and I played baseball all through high school. My family never ever missed a game. After games and big scoops of strawberry ice cream, I’d join my papa at the free clinic, and we’d help anyone and everyone. Each of my dads taught me a different kind of love, and I loved them dearly for it. I’d even named Declan a combination of their names. Cedric and Desmond. “It’s lovely, Ruby,” Mom said, giving my back a gentle rub. “Declan’s still asleep in the other moms’ tent. Little guy got all tuckered out kayaking with your dad and papa yesterday. He reminds me so much of you as a toddler.”

I snorted. “Our little wild child,” I said, shading in the petal of a chamomile flower. “This isn’t as bad as I made it out to be. I like hanging out with you guys and I appreciate all you’ve done for me and Dec this year. Taking us in.” I swallowed. “I’m just a little lost right now, Mom.”

A zipper hissed behind me, and two sets of footsteps sounded. Papa sat next to me and wrapped a gentle arm around me, while Dad rubbed the top of my head before sitting by Mom. “We’re here for you, Ru, always,” Dad said, his eyes crinkling with a smile.

Papa gave me a squeeze. “Always. Me, Dad, Mom, the moms, we’ll always be here for you and your little guy.”

My heart swelled as tears stung my eyes. I didn’t care about the hell I got in school growing up for having three moms and two dads. The other kids were missing out, as far as I was concerned. Hell, I would have loved to have two husbands, maybe a wife too, who knows. It seemed natural and logical to me, having multiple partners. In fact, communal living was how humans lived for the majority of known history. But as it stood, I couldn’t find just one man. At least my son had my dads, who loved him so fiercely it took my breath away.

My mom brushed a tender finger over my freckled cheek. “Ruby Snow Queen…if I’ve learned anything in my years of living life…unconventionally… it’s that there’s always more. There’s always another adventure just waiting around the corner. And yes, you’re a young single mom, but there’s a love so big out there just waiting for you. It’ll find you, like it found me. It just might look different than you imagined.”

“But that’s the fun part,” Dad interjected.

I rested my head on Papa’s shoulder. “I love you guys. We’ll figured it out. We always do.”

I knew they were right. If I had anything in this life, it was my son and my family. But I still wondered if what Mom said was true. If maybe my own love would find me someday. Maybe a love like hers. If a love as great as hers even existed. Maybe we’d see. But in the meantime, I had my family.

Who had lifetimes of love to give.