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We all look at each other.
I say, “I don’t know, I really don’t.” I’m still all ground up about Alessio not showing up here. “I wanted to bring us all together so at least we could all say what we felt.”
Bruno says, “I hate him making the rest of us feel like we’re not enough just because he’s off playing whatever fuckwit game he’s into right now.”
Carlo adds, “It’s not completely impossible that he simply couldn’t find the guts to be here and face us all right now.”
I know that we’re all thinking it.
Carlo wants to be put in the picture, so I tell him, “I went to Chicago. They were pretty understanding, in fact. But they won’t take my side against Jerry.”
So Carlo says, “What are you going to tell Jerry?”
“I don’t have much of a choice. You know the thing care most about is, whichever way it all goes, how can I keep Alessio on side? With us?” I look to Bruno.
He says, “No point asking me. I do love him, but he’s an idiot.”
Carlo says, “Me either. Sorry. I’ve talked to him. Or, I’ve tried talking to him at least. I think Jerry has taken root in Alessio’s brain.”
Bruno grabs my hand across the table and says, “Don’t make me choose, Lucia. I won’t choose Alessio against you, but I don’t want to have to choose you against him either.”
It’s like another kick in the gut. I can’t keep my face from collapsing.
“So that’s your answer, Bruno?” I knew this wasn’t all just going to blow away and I told myself that I was braced and ready. But, now that I’m face to face with the crevices and gulleys that are opening up between all four of us, I’m really not prepared at all.
Bruno’s brow pinches and dents as he looks at me. “I’m going to stay at the old house and hope that you two can sort it out between you.”
“And if we can’t?” I say, “If I can’t make Alessio see sense?”
“I’m hoping it won’t come to that, Lucia. I don’t want to lose you. Or him.”
Carlo says, “I want to say that I have a better plan. I always want to be able to say that I have a better plan than Bruno. Obviously.” ewe nearly laugh. “But this time, I don’t.”
I slump.
“So, you both don’t want to side with Alessio and against me.”
I have to stand. Walk around the table.
“But you’re both staying in that old house with Alessio, instead of coming to live in the house we’ve built together. The house that was designed from the foundations for us to be together in.”
“Lucia…” Bruno pleads.
I go on, “You don’t want to side with Alessio, but you’re both staying with him and you’re leaving me in this big empty house, all alone.”
Even Carlo can’t make it any better. He tries, but it’s no good.
I tell them both, “You’d better leave,” they’re getting to their feet reaching their hands towards me, but I turn.
“Please. Before I say or do anything I can’t take back.”
As they leave, i feel like that time may already have passed.
I’ve sent away the two of my three men who I just might not have completely lost.
I feel hollow, empty and adrift. Lost like a dead flower on s stormy sea.
More times than I can count, I’ve heard Alessio happily admit that he wouldn’t be able to run half of our businesses. He doesn’t have the first clue how the sports books work. To him, the events ticketing operations are like voodoo, but in Dutch or ancient Greek. I’m pretty sure that if he tried to run just one of our bars and he had nothing else to do or worry about, I would give it a month before the bar was broke, bankrupt, and shuttered.
