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I need to ride that out and let it pass. Definitely wait for the aftershocks to roll through before I make any serious decisions or choices. The immediate danger is past, but my body is still in a state of chemical emergency alert.
This is a time when I need relaxation. Maybe I could take a workout in the basement. Pound the treadmill and the spin bike for an hour before I take my soak.
Guys deal with this kind of tension by going out to bars, getting hammered, dancing and shouting and making rash and inappropriate choices for the late evening.
I did stuff like that in the past, too, but guys jump and yell and they look like lions or bulls. Or, at their worst, hogs or goats. Its different when you’re a girl.
And now, I’m not just a girl, or even just a mafia princess. Now, I need to be more careful. Anything that I do in public could ripple out and have consequences.
I’ll make do with the gym then glass of cold white wine or a carton of ice-cream. Or maybe both. In the tub. And I’ll try and forget how badly I want Bruno’s muscles, or Alessio’s cock, or Carlo’s tongue.
How I want all three of their mouths on me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
From the car, I send texts and leave voicemails for Carlo and Bruno. I asked them about how the visit to Sky Table Resort was going, but more than anything else, I really wanted to talk and feel close with them.
Carlo calls me back.
“Carlo, are you back and hiding out in the old Dracula’s castle with Bruno?”
“I’m not hiding, micia and I’m not ‘with Bruno,’ not in the way you make that sound. Like we’re a faction or an opposition movement.”
“Then what are you?”
“We’re both still here at Sky Table Resort. We have much to do. And I’m staying out of the way while you and Alessio work out whatever it is that you have to work out.”
Carlo’s voice slips in my ear and wafts, swirling through my body like smoke. Images of him brush through my head, his velvety skin, scented with sandalwood and spice, his hot grip stirring me up. A pining ache starts up low in my core and I have to clear my throat.
We’re getting close to the house and I’m still jangling from the meeting.
Hearing Carlo’s voice makes me feel slinky and sexy. What he said has me on edge.
I need the gym and I need to sort my head out. I tell Carlo I’ll call him later.
Alessio and his father came into Bruno and Carlo’s lives late. I’m surprised and it’s hard for me to understand, how they see him as such a figure of leadership. I must have misread something in their dynamic.
All three of them were mafia sons from birth. That’s the one thing that they do all have in common. Maybe that means that their attachment to Alessio as their leader goes deeper than I thought.
Alessio and Bruno came from other families. Bruno by adoption and Alessio through marriage. Only Carlo was born a Fortuna.
What every mafia son wants is power, but next they crave structure. Stability. The Life is constant chaos. Conflict, shootings, vendettas. Warring and strife, everywhere. All the time.
In a world where family means everything, perhaps it’s no wonder they have a loyalty to the man who was presumed to be the heir.
My daddy schooled me in ways of the traditional mafia family. What I want is all three of them. When I realized that I needed them all, that my heart refused to choose anything less than all of them, it was a shock. It was hard for me to come to terms with that.
The thrill was almost too much to take. It terrified me, too, thinking what I would be up against. Not only having to deal with the world outside, what people would say. In the Life, we’re almost off-grid as far as the civilians are concerned. But it’s different here, in our own communities.
Being a mafia princess like I am means living in a blaze of spotlights. Nobody will ever speak openly about what you are doing, but you know that in the dark, behind your back, you can feel them sharing and comparing scraps of knowledge, chewing over them and devouring every tiny detail. Someone sees a door close and everyone dreams up a whole movie for whqt happened behind it.
How people gossip and all the things they say, you have to rise above all that, whatever happens. It can only matter if you let it matter.
What’s important to me is my life, my love, my three men. Damn. I get a knot in my gut just thinking about it. Does this mean that I can’t possibly have any one of them, without needing to win back all three? All three is what I want. It’s what I need.
But now I have no other choice. I need to get all three of them back at the same time.
All or nothing.
