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She doesn’t know it, but I’ll need it because she will be what keeps me standing when self-doubt starts to creep in. My mom has spent years sowing it in the recesses of my mind.
“I know we’re not fully on solid ground, Ink,” I mumble into her neck where I’ve buried my face, “but I need you. I need-,” my voice cracks as my words break off.
She’s right there to soothe her hands over my shoulders and down my arms, pulling me farther into her place. “Then take me. Use me how you need to, Kade.”
“Fuck,” I breathe against her neck, kicking the door shut behind me, “I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness.”
“I didn’t say I forgive you. I said you could use me how you need.”
As I lift her in my arms and stomp my way through her far too small apartment, I know we should talk about what she’s just said. I know I should try and win more pieces of her heart before we take this step. But I don’t.
Because everything still feels like rubble at my feet and she’s the only solid thing I can cling to. She’s the only thing I want to cling to.
I undress her quickly and then follow suit, my eyes roaming over her body as she lays on the bed which is exactly where I put her. “This will be enough for now, but I’ll earn the rest, Emery,” I promise her.
“We’ll see,” there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes mixed with her challenge.
My body covers hers, giving her warmth while I try and meld the shattered piece around me—the time lost, the love lost, the comfort destroyed—into something useful again.
When my cock slides between her folds, I can feel how wet she is for me. She might say she doesn’t forgive me, and maybe her head and heart don’t yet, but her body is more than on board with us being together.
It’s enough.
For now.
I thrust myself fully into her, relief filling every part of my body at the contact, at the connection. This is home.
And I’ve missed it.
We move together, our bodies taking over and the reality of the world and the past we share falling away. No hurt. No questions. No mistakes. Just us.
“Yeah,” I grunt after we’ve come together, our bodies still connected, “we’ll see.”
CHAPTER 9
EMERY
As I’m cleaning down my station, I get lost in memories of Kade showing up at my place a few days ago. Just thinking about it has heat creeping up my neck. That man does wicked things to my body.
I’m not complaining, not at all, but maybe I shouldn’t have given in to the fire between us. What I told him is true though—we can enjoy each other without it meaning I forgive him.
Do I believe that he had an emergency? Of course. Still, he disappeared on me and I’m not entirely sure he won’t do it again.
That fear isn’t something I can allow to hold me back. Which is why I didn’t kick him out right away after he showed up at my door and we fucked like he was going off to war or something. As he held me in his arms, he told me about the conversation he had with his mom and his plans to not go back out to the rig.
I could see the hope in his beautiful eyes as he told me, like he wanted me to believe him and trust in him. I have no doubt that he has no intention of going back to work on the rig, but it’s not easy to put all my trust in a man that just disappeared on me.
My heart and body want me to run full steam into this thing between us though. My head holds me back. It’s probably for the best.
Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy some hot as hell orgasms and the man giving them out like candy on Halloween.
He really does know the way around my body like no one else ever has. The memory of his hands on my body with reverence in his touch, has me biting back a moan and the need to grab my phone and send him a text.
Even though it’s been a few days, he hasn’t allowed me to push him to the back of my mind. I haven’t seen him, but he’s kept in contact with me. I’ve kept my answers on the shorter side.
It probably isn’t fair to him with all the effort he’s putting in, but that’s all I can offer at the moment.
But you want to give him so much more.
