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He shook his head. “I was never tested. My father decided I was a dumb waster who didn’t want to make any effort to study. Testing, trying to figure out why I couldn’t learn as well as Anna and Akka…none of that ever featured in his thoughts or my mom’s for that matter.”
A small hand found its way into his and squeezed. Just once. He could hear the walls around his heart crack, an embarrassingly loud sound in his mind.
“When did you find out?” she asked now, that analytical mind of hers needing to know every twist and turn his life had taken.
“I was talking to a friend of mine. His child struggled to learn and everything he described about her struggle was an echo of my life, of the hell that was the education system I fought to wade through. They diagnosed her as dyslexic. So, I got myself tested too. I’ve paid heavily, financially and otherwise, to keep this a secret, Raashi. You can’t tell anyone.”
It was the first time he’d ever called her by her name. Her real name. No nicknames, no insults, nothing. It was, for the first time ever, just her and him.
“Your secret is safe with me Kodela.” She smiled, a small, sweet smile. “Isn’t that what good wives do? Keep their husband’s secrets?”
Harsh smiled back, turning fully on his side to face her. “Are you going to be a good wife, Gadde?”
“Hell no.” Her smile broadened. “I’m going to be the wife you deserve.”
Laughter burst out of him, the last thing he expected on the heels of the day they’d had. He was still chuckling when she said, “If you want a divorce later, I’ll sign wherever you want me to.”
He stopped laughing, the word ‘divorce’ sitting uneasily against his heart. Again. Why was he having this reaction? Raashi was handing him an out. He should be grabbing it and running with it.
“I’ll even sign a prenup. Have it drafted to terms that work for you. I want nothing from you, Harsh.”
I want nothing from you, Harsh.
The strange part was that while Raashi might want nothing from him, Harsh was suddenly seized by a bizarre desire to give her everything he had to offer.
“No prenup,” he said, his voice gruff, as he pushed himself to his feet, getting off her bed and moving away from the disturbing intimacy of the moment they’d just shared.
Raashi sat up, her perceptive gaze watching him leave. Harsh stopped at the door, restless emotion clogging his throat.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you haven’t answered my question yet. You will tell me why you agreed to marry me, Rash. If not today, then soon.”
Twenty-Two
RAASHI
No one will ever want you, Raashi.
She took a deep breath as she walked into the swanky salon. Her gaze darted around the expansive space, feeling like a fish out of water. This wasn’t her scene, never had been. She’d been a wash her face, brush her hair and get on with it kind of girl.
No one will ever want you, Raashi.
She hated that she still heard his voice in her head. She hated that his voice somehow ended up being her own inner voice. She hated that she heard it today of all days. Tonight was their engagement party, an informal do at her parent’s home with an elite, carefully curated guest list.
So today, she needed a boost. No, she needed camouflage. She needed someone to make her look like Harsh Kodela’s fiancée. Right now, she looked like a terrified rat. A terrified rat with split ends in her long, bushy mane of hair and suitcase like bags under her eyes.
“Hello ma’am.” One of the salon people had approached her while she was busy cataloguing her many flaws.
“Hello,” she squeaked. Mortified, Raashi cleared her throat and tried again. “Hello. I’d like a complete makeover please. Hair, make up and everything.”
“Is it a special event?” The lady asked, smiling as she guided her to a seat in front of a row of mirrors.
“My engagement,” she murmured. “But an informal, western style party. So, no poojadai or anything Indian bridal sort.”
“Sure Ma’am. Please sit.”
Raashi sat down with a graceless thunk. She chewed her lip as the lady rattled on about hair highlights and nude makeup. She should have brought Amma or Akka with her, she thought, panic rising. She knew nothing about all this.
The lady pulled out a huge catalogue with different coloured swatches of hair colours to choose from and her panic started to strangle her.
