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Garrett flinched, both at Sebastian’s blow slamming into the metal a half-inch from his cheek and at his words. But mostly because Garrett had been asking himself the same vitriolic question over and over. “I fucked up.”
“Damn right, you fucked up,” Sebastian screamed so close to his face Garrett could feel the spittle land on his cheek. “Look at me!”
Garrett forced his gaze up to meet Sebastian’s and felt a fresh stab of pain and guilt and fear when he saw all those same emotions reflected back at him in Sebastian’s eyes.
Sebastian drove his elbow into Garrett’s chest hard enough to slam him back into the wall again. “You abandoned him.”
Garrett wheezed around the hit to his solar plexus, swallowed yet another sob, and nodded. “I know.”
Sebastian lifted his fist, and Garrett knew it was killing him that Garrett wasn’t fighting back, but Garrett couldn’t. He couldn’t defend himself. Sebastian threw his hands back down with a snarl and spun away. “I fucking trusted you with him. He fucking trusted you.”
Garrett watched Sebastian storm across the room and then back again. “I know.”
“And you”—Sebastian jabbed his finger at Garrett as he paced past him—“bastard that you are, couldn’t pull your own head out of your ass long enough to trust him back, could you?”
“I—” Garrett bit back his own retort. He’d been in shock. Too horrified and too confused to think clearly, but that was no excuse. “I know.”
Sebastian rounded on him, and Garrett could see in his eyes that he was going in for the kill. “You’re so obsessed about being betrayed that you betrayed him when he needed you most. You stabbed him in the back and threw him away like trash, and now that abusive bastard has him, and it’s all your fucking fault.”
Sebastian punctuated his accusation with a jab into Garrett’s chest, and Garrett’s knees almost gave out from under him. He barely managed to support himself on the wall behind him as his stomach rolled and his heart convulsed.
“You’re right.” Garrett squeezed his eyes shut and fought for breath through the nausea. “You’re right about everything, Sebastian, and I’m so sorry.” Then his knees really did give out, and he started to slide down the wall until Sebastian caught his arm. His words came out wet. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Damn it.” Sebastian grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the wall. “I know you’re sorry. Okay? I know. Sit down.”
Garrett let Sebastian shove him into a chair and stared down at the dented metal of the table as he trembled. He’d done this. For all his talk about being safe for Maxwell and protecting Maxwell, and for all his certainty about loving Maxwell, when Maxwell had needed him most, he hadn’t been there for him. And all because he’d been so consumed with waiting for Maxwell to betray him that as soon as he thought it had happened, he hadn’t been able to see past it.
“Drink some water.”
Garrett blinked down at the canteen Sebastian set in front of him.
Sebastian groaned and shook Garrett’s shoulder. “Drink the water, Garrett.”
After a moment, Garrett reached out and downed half the bottle. He took a deep breath. His heart rate steadied. After downing the rest of it, he could finally see clearly again, and he set the metal canister down and looked across the table to see Sebastian staring at the tablets strewn across the old table.
“So what’s with the star charts?” Sebastian asked as he rearranged the various screens.
Garrett rubbed the last bits of tears that had been gathering in his eyes and passed over one of the tablets that was just out of Sebastian’s reach. “I’m trying to figure out where they might have gone.”
“Did Kurt turn off the ship transponder?” Sebastian’s voice had settled into a calm competence, and despite the situation, Garrett felt his own chest loosen. He’d never admit it out loud, but Sebastian had always fixed everything that went wrong for the Resistance before. Part of Garrett believed he could do it now.
“Yeah.” Garrett reached out to trace a path across the charts with his index finger. “I saw them take off this way, and then we tracked them looping around Carta in this direction, and then they disappeared.”
Sebastian cringed and looked up at him. “You saw them take off?”
Garrett nodded. “But I was too far to do anything.”
“Shit.” Sebastian sighed and looked back down at the tablets. “That must have sucked.”
Garrett swallowed and shoved away the image of the ship racing down the tarmac that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to unsee. “It did.”
Sebastian tapped one of the screens and pulled Garrett’s attention back out of his memories. “So they were headed in this direction when they disappeared?”
Garrett nodded. “But we have no way of knowing if they were actually going in that direction or if it was just a feint.”
“Do we know how much fuel was in the fighter?”
“Yeah.” Garrett pointed out the various locations that the ship could possibly reach with two people and half-full tanks of gas and oxygen. “Enough to reach anywhere on Carta, Tava, or anywhere on the moons. He might even be able to make it to Klah if he’s a good flyer.”
