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Leon didn’t say anything.
Sebastian cringed as he stood and made his way back to the bathroom. After he’d given himself a perfunctory rinse to clean off the bulk of the lube and spunk, and Leon still hadn’t said anything, Sebastian reached out to find that Leon had erected something of a mental wall. Whether it was to keep Sebastian out or himself in, Sebastian couldn’t say.
He toweled off and went back to his wardrobe to see if he still had pajamas. When he opened the doors, and Leon still hadn’t replied, Sebastian dropped his arms to the side with a huff. “I was just upset. And hurt. And disappointed.”
That got a reply from Leon. “I know. I didn’t expect an apology.”
“Why?” Sebastian pulled himself up and stuck his hands on his hips. “Do you think I’m incapable of knowing when I’ve gone too far?”
“Maybe.”
Sebastian snapped his mouth open to defend himself but then recognized a teasing tone in Leon’s voice. “Jerk.”
“You were angry with me for a reason, Sebastian,” Leon finally said in a more serious tone. “That reason isn’t gone. I am winning this war, and I am giving that speech. Whatever it takes.”
Sebastian stared at the dusty pile of clothes in his wardrobe. Leon was right. Sebastian had been angry with him for a reason, and an extremely valid one. He swallowed as he opened a drawer and found a soft shirt and some old sweatpants that didn’t smell too musty.
“So the attack didn’t change your mind?” he asked with an attempt at a neutral tone. “About your methods?”
“No.” Leon finally brought his wall down, and he brushed against Sebastian with a tinge of regret. “And neither can you.”
Sebastian pulled on the clothes with a whole new swirl of guilt in his stomach. Because he wasn’t angry at Leon anymore, but perhaps he still should be. He didn’t want anyone else subjected to what they had been subjected to. He didn’t want Southern Tava to be won at that cost.
Leon’s touch turned affectionate, and he nudged against Sebastian. “Let’s go to bed.”
Sebastian nodded and turned back to the big bed with a sigh. “I don’t even know how that works with you.”
“I sleep like everyone else when I bother to take the time.” Leon chuckled.
His levity eased Sebastian’s anxiety, and Sebastian let go of his guilt and frustration to be dealt with later.
“No, I mean, I don’t know how to sleep with another person in here with me.” Sebastian grabbed two of the decorative throw pillows and tossed them to the ground. “I’ve never tried.”
“Am I just another person?”
“No.” Sebastian snorted as he climbed into bed and settled himself in the covers. A real bed blew a cot or a sleeping bag out of the water any day, and he burrowed into the sheets with a sigh. “You’re the most controlling and confusing man I’ve ever met.”
Leon’s laughter rolled through their mind, and Sebastian wished he could be in a separate body so he could hear that laughter ring through the air. For once, it sounded genuine and free. Not so cynical and resigned.
“Do you make a habit of sleeping with other people?” Sebastian bit his lip and winced. There he went again. Why did he have to be so grabby? Why couldn’t he just take what he was given and be happy with it?
“Considering I don’t make a habit of sleeping, it seems unlikely I’d make a habit of sleeping with other people,” Leon pointed out in an amused tone.
Sebastian fiddled with a loose thread on the edge of the sheet. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Honestly, I haven’t shared a bed with another person since I got out of the barracks and no longer had to share whatever mattresses we could manage to scrounge together.”
“And am I just another person?” Sebastian tugged at the thread.
Leon poked him. “Are you fishing for compliments?”
Sebastian blushed. “Maybe.”
Leon laughed again and expanded from his spot in their mind to press against Sebastian. “No, you’re not just another person, Sebastian. You’re my most valuable soldier, an insufferable smart-ass, and the most captivating man I’ve ever met.”
Sebastian rolled onto his side, hugged a pillowed to his chest, and buried his face into it as though he could hide his giant grin and burning cheeks from a man who could feel his giddiness. “Flatterer.”
“No one has ever called me that before.”
