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“You are.”
Sebastian reached for him. “And you love me.”
Leon caught Sebastian’s hand before it could touch him. “Lots of men could you love you, Sebastian.” Leon steeled himself and pushed through. “Lots of better men. You don’t have to settle for me just because I keep pushing myself on you.”
Sebastian’s eyes flicked sadly to the hand Leon still held away from himself. “Why won’t you ever let me touch you?”
“What?” Leon deflated. “I have.”
“No.” Sebastian pointed his chin at Leon’s hand clasped around his wrist. “You always stop me.”
“You kissed me this morning.” Leon shook his head. “And the night before that, you”—he swallowed—“you touched me plenty.”
“You only didn’t stop me this morning because you thought I was going to punch you.” Sebastian scowled.
Leon couldn’t disagree; he had thought it a distinct possibility.
Sebastian nodded pointedly and continued, “And the night before that was a bit of an extenuating circumstance.”
Leon licked his lips and let go of Sebastian’s wrist. He raised his chin and pulled his shoulders back. Sebastian’s lips quirked, and he raised an eyebrow. Leon nodded.
Sebastian huffed a laugh and brought both hands to cup Leon’s face. Leon blinked a few times at the aching tenderness in his touch, and Sebastian’s half smile smoothed into something soft. “What are you so afraid of, Leon?”
Leon looked away and chewed on the inside of his cheek as he struggled to articulate the anxious, guilty, defensive feeling churning in his stomach. “That I’ll…sully you.”
Sebastian threw his head back and let out that beautiful laugh. “That you’ll sully me? Leon, you put me naked on a desk and ordered me to come all over myself.”
Leon flushed. “I know.”
“And you had me jamb three fingers up my ass while I sucked your cock.”
Leon flushed harder. “I know.”
“But you think letting me touch you is gonna be the final straw?”
Leon tried to pull his face away, but Sebastian held him fast, so he sighed. “There’s a difference between doing something to you that I know you’ll like and taking something from you that I don’t deserve.”
“Leon.” Sebastian petted his thumbs over Leon’s cheeks just like Leon had done to him. “You think you take something from me when I touch you?”
“Don’t I?” Leon arched a brow. “I don’t deserve any of this from you, Sebastian.”
“You told me lots of other men could love me.” Sebastian cocked his head, and Leon winced. It seemed a cruel thing for Sebastian to bring up with his hands still gentle on Leon’s face. “Do you realize lots of other men could love you too?”
The next words left Leon’s mouth in a dull, flat tone, as a boring weighty certainty that he’d always had. “No one’s ever loved me.”
“I love you.” Sebastian’s hands tightened on his jaw and gave him a little shake. “Whether you like it or not. And Martha loves you, though I know she has a hard time showing it. And Garrett loves you—as much as his mind is evolved enough to comprehend the feeling at least.”
Leon snorted. “You two really have more in common than you realize.”
Sebastian scoffed. “I’ll let that insult slide only because I’m still trying to convince you that I love you.”
“I don’t doubt that you love me—”
“And that you deserve my love.” Sebastian shook him again.
“I don’t—”
“And also that it’s not really up to you.” Sebastian let him go and put his hands on his hips. “I’ve already made my decision. My mind is made up. Would you like to keep arguing?”
