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Chapter 8
Cherry
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
“I want you inside me.”
“It’s date day bitch!” Jade shouts her unannounced and very unwanted arrival in my apartment, startling me from the best sexy dream ever.
“I’m going to kill you and stuff your body in the pipe at the river,” I threaten. “I was having the best-wet dream before you interrupted.”
“Oh, shh. You have a date today, and you are ready for it.”
“No, I’m not. Let me go back to the dream world with Jason Momoa. Don’t be more of a monster than you already are.”
“Out of bed, or I’m hiding the destroyer until you move.”
Grumbling, I reluctantly crawl from my mountain of pillows and covers and make my way into the bathroom.
My rainbow hair looks like Pinkie Pie threw up over it. And no matter how hard I rub my eyes with makeup remover, I somehow always end up with panda eyes the following day.
“Are you okay in there, gothic, my little pony?” Jade calls through the door. “I have the perfect outfit ready for you to wear tonight.”
“No. The last time you dressed me, I looked like a hooker,” I shout back at her while I wrestle with my hairbrush, trying to make my hair look a little more manageable so I don’t get overwhelmed.
“You dress like a hooker every day bitch so stop shitting and get your arse out here so I can dress you.”
“Rude.”
Jade’s fist pounds on the bathroom door, signaling she’s three seconds from breaking down the door and dragging me out.
“Fineeee!” I groan, swinging the door open to my gleeful-looking best friend. “I hate you, y’know that?”
“So much shit comes out of your mouth that you should have been named asshole.”
“Fuck you.”
I hate it.
The red wine-colored satin dress clings to my skin, extenuating the curves that I usually try to hide. My breasts spill from the top, and I’m pretty sure the bottom of my arse is on show for the world to see. Thank god Jade let me put on my lace panties; otherwise, I feel like I’d be showing my blind date the goods before he even bought me dinner.
“You look so fucking sexy,” Jade whistles at me appreciatively. “God, I’m good.”
“Did you have to choose something so short?” I whine, tugging at the hem of the dress to pull it down even an inch, but it’s no use. It’s not going anywhere, and I don’t want to risk the wrath of Jade if I try to change into something different.
“Yes. You are trying to get laid, not return a book to the library.”
“Libraries can be fun.”
“Only if you are getting fucked in the stacks. Now sit so I can curl your hair,” she orders, clicking her fingers at me and pointing to the chair in front of my dresser mirror.
“I’m more than capable of doing my hair; I am a hairdresser.”
“Sure, babe. Now turn.”
After what feels like an eternity, I am plucked, prodded, pretty sure burnt from the curling iron, and primed within an inch of my life. I’ve been sitting here for hours as Jade meticulously worked on me, her tongue sticking out to the side in concentration.
“Ta-da!” Jade exclaims, her arms outstretched as she reveals my new look.
