AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m not broken, Fred.” She scoffs. “I’ll admit, I was a bit freaked out earlier, but I’m totally fine now.”
I snort and she slaps the top of my thigh, just inches from my throbbing beef jerk-me. Hopefully she doesn’t notice how hard I am. Story sucks in a sharp breath and a tiny whimper falls from her lips. My dick jumps.
Goddamn. So much for discretion.
Before she can comment on my inappropriate erection, I press my fingers around her spread anus and push the curls to the side so I can get a better look. Something small and dark is sticking to a few, keeping them clumped together and blocking my view. I narrow my eyes. What the hell is that?
“Tweezers, bed bug.”
I hold my palm out and she quickly passes them over. It takes a few minutes to sift through the debris without ripping her hairs out, but I take my time, determined not to hurt my angel.
“So,” she drawls, shifting her legs again. I grimace, picking up the pace. Why is this so crispy? “Where did you get a headlamp anyway? And this wheely thing.”
“My garage.” I push a hair to the side, discovering the cause for the knot. The tiniest dingleberry known to man. I grin. Even her fecal waste is cute.
“You have a garage? Wait. I thought this was an ap—”
I give it a little tug and it slips free.
“Ouchie!” she cries.
I drop the tweezers on the puppy pad next to me, along with her berry. Smoothing a hand along her thigh, I murmur my praises, telling her what a good, brave goose she’s being for me. Story sighs, a shudder writhing through her as I get back to her hole. My fingers are gentle as I probe at the pink stink wrinkle, testing its limits.
It’s looser than I thought it would be. Maybe this won't be so hard. I’ll still need some slip so I can slide in and extract the plug. I wonder what it looks like. I shift my knees, trying to relieve some pressure on my aching testicles. They’re so full, I’m pretty sure I could knock my girl up just by looking at her.
“Baby oil,” I grit out.
“Yes?” She asks, lifting the shirt to peer at me between her legs.
I blink at her. “Baby oil.”
“I said what?” She huffs.
My brows furrow. Can she not hear? Has something happened in the last ten seconds I’m unaware of? Is she injured? My heart rate picks up.
“Baby,” I say slowly, drawing out the letters. “Oil.”
Her hands fly in exasperation. “What do you need, Fred? I’m right freaking here!”
“I need the baby oil!” I cry, pointing at the industrial sized bottle on the tray. “I’m going to look inside you now and I don’t want to go in dry.”
Her cute cheeks turn an adorable shade of red. She giggles, and the sound goes straight to my chest. Shit. Is it too soon to be in love? No. It’s never too soon with your soulmate.
But how can you know she’s your soulmate? Your shitty father had at least forty women he paraded around, claiming the divine voices of his animal kin pronounced them to be his soulmates. Look how that turned out. News flash…it didn’t!
I bite my lip, ignoring the rational part of my brain. It’s annoying. And boring.
“Oh, shoot.” She picks it up, and I wiggle my fingers expectantly. Her nose scrunches. “Um, Freddikins. Do you think we can lose the gloves? They hurt.”
“Really? You’re sure?”
She nods her head, and I eagerly rip them off. I don’t need to be asked twice. The idea of feeling her skin, her insides, without anything between us, has my cock snot leaking into my tighty-whities.
Once my hands are free from the restraints of my palm condoms, I hold them out. “Cover my hands in oil so I can explore you, bed bug.”
“O-okay,” she stutters, following my instructions.
Why does she sound like that? Tortured?
