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Aww, I love kids! I want at least ten, maybe more. I can just see them now. They’d have his pale lashes and thin brows, but my peach hair and brown eyes. My head tilts. I wonder if Fred is naturally bald. Maybe he has some curls under that shiny scalp. I smile. Our big headed-babies would look so cute with peach curls and pale skin.
“Story?” I blink away my daydreams, finding him giving me an odd look. “What do you feel?”
I swallow hard.
“Feelings.”
Seriously, Story?
Rolling my eyes, I huff out a breath. I need to be honest with him. If I don’t, I’ll probably regret this for the rest of my life.
“When I walked into that bar tonight and spotted Bud, I knew this was going to be a bad night. I knew he wasn’t the one. But then that little voice in my head said, ‘You’re not getting any younger, Story. Stop being so picky, Story. Every second you go unfertilized, another egg dies a violent death, Story.’ So, I went in, and then you found me here, and yeah, I was humiliated and terrified. I thought I was going to be murdered!”
My rambling mouth snaps shut when Fred releases a primal sound that goes straight to my bussy. Wait. Do women have a bussy, or is it strictly male anatomy? Regardless, something clenches, and shivers race across my spine.
Damn. My man is so hot.
“You will not die. Ever.”
I gape at his declaration. “You can’t—”
“I can!” He cries, his hand slashing through the air like a katana. “No death! Do you understand me?”
Suddenly, I find myself nodding.
He smiles. “Such a good little goose.”
Oh, lord! It’s like kryptonite for my nubbin.
“Anyway,” I croak, ignoring his knowing look. “When the police broke down the door, I was imagining all the ways the night could get worse.”
Me, starting my period and spilling chunky womb clots all over Bud’s fuck-pad. A flesh-eating lizard catching my alluring scent and crawling into my exposed lady-cave, eating me from the inside out. Then my celeb crush, Alex Trabek, would come back from the grave and see me in my lizard-clot hell. But instead of saving me Fabio-style, he’d toss his head back and cackle before transforming into my biggest fear, a capuchin monkey.
I brush a tear from my cheek. I’d been so afraid.
“And then you walked in, and suddenly, I knew I was going to be okay.” I sniffle, forcing myself to meet Fred’s gaze. My breath catches when I lock onto his tear-filled eyes. “I feel like I’ve known you my entire life, and yet a thousand years still wouldn’t be enough to sate my desire for you.”
“Story,” he chokes out. Leaning forward, he cups my face, nuzzling his nose with mine in the sweetest eskimo kiss. “Everything you said is exactly how I feel, only you’ve worded it more beautifully than I ever could.” He roughly chuckles. “Can I kiss you, bed bug?”
“You never have to ask, my big, sweet quiche,” I murmur breathily.
He blinks. “Quiche?”
My cheeks burn from the force of my blush. Tentatively, I lift my hand, brushing it over his silken dome. My lids flutter at the smooth texture. It’s bumpy, but his skin is so soft, just like I knew it would be.
“Yes,” I whisper. “It’s my favorite style of eggs. And well…” I break off, cupping his head.
He stares at me for a long moment. “Are you calling me an egghead because I’m bald?”
Oh, no! I hope he doesn’t take offense. I nod slowly. Fred smiles.
“Do you know the best part about not having any hair?” he asks huskily as he leans closer, leaving our mouths only an inch apart. I shake my head once. “When I go down on you, my hair won’t get caught in your yummy, cummy curls, will it? No. I’ll get to fuck you with more than just my mouth and fingers.” His lips ghost across mine. “I’ll use my entire, big, bald head to plunder your moist beaver den, baby.”
And then Fred Bates is kissing me.
The kiss is plush and silky. His thick lips are like pillowy clouds of cotton candy. They’re almost feminine against my cracked lips. I tense, worried Fred will notice I forgot to put on chapstick for the last twenty years, but then he’s groaning and embarrassment flies out the window. I quickly find myself disappearing in all that is my Freddikins.
It’s a kiss unlike any I’ve ever experienced before.
