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My stomach twists. Every time I blink, I see the way the warmth in Thomas’s eyes disappeared behind stoicism. I hear how his voice, warm with passion and… and love, became distantly polite. Would Raleigh consider my awkward hesitation last night ‘making him work for it’?
“I… haven’t accepted yet,” I admit.
Raleigh’s jaw drops. “You- haven’t?! Why not?”
“Because if I become a mafia wife, doesn’t that mean I’m giving up?” I blurt out. It’s the first time I’ve dared to speak the words aloud. If I stay with Thomas, then running away from my uncle would’ve been worthless, right? I wanted out of the mafia life so that I could paint in peace.
Except-
“So do both.”
I blink and look up at her. “What?”
Raleigh rolls her eyes, but she softens it with a smile. “Thomas isn’t going to tell you to stop painting, Clara. No one here is. Maybe that’s how your uncle was, but he’s dead. You can do whatever you want now.”
I wince at the casual way she says the words ‘he’s dead’, but after a moment, what she said really sinks in. Ever since I left the Warwick house, my uncle was an obstacle between me and my happiness. Between me and my future, really. Now that he’s gone, I can do… anything. I don’t have to be afraid anymore.
“And obviously,” Raleigh goes on, “I don’t want you to leave. Even if it means you’re married to my dumb brother and the two of you are insufferably mushy every day.”
It’s suddenly hard to swallow. Before I realize it, tears are slipping down my cheeks. Raleigh sets down her latte with a clatter.
“Shit. What’s wrong? Did I say something? Listen, it’s fine if you’re in love or whatever. That’s good. I’m just being a brat, all right? For fuck’s sake, don’t turn my brother down just because I’m busting his chops, okay?”
It’s the first time I can remember Raleigh being conscious of what she’s said, and it makes me laugh. “I won’t, I promise. I mean…” I swallow, the humor turning sour on my tongue. “I hesitated last night after he asked, and I think I really hurt him. I couldn’t even manage to ask him to let me think about it. I just… froze. Now I don’t even know what to say. He was so sure, and I wasn’t. Isn’t it wrong that I couldn’t answer right away?”
“No?!” Raleigh cries. “Obviously not! Your whole life has been in total chaos since you came back to us. A lot of that is my fault, not yours or his. If I’d just helped you run away that first night, none of this would have happened. And you literally just escaped being captured by your uncle and, oh yeah, fucking killing him and burning your own house down. You owe me for stealing my idea, by the way.”
I snort a laugh through tears that are still falling. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad you tried to set me on fire when I showed up at your house. I probably wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise.”
Raleigh’s smile is crooked and smug, but she doesn’t have a chance to argue. An alarm suddenly blares out over the patio, making us both jump. A second later, Thomas throws open the back door.
“Inside, now. There’s a raid incoming.”
“From fucking who?!” Raleigh demands, wasting no time grabbing her latte and going for the door. I quickly follow, letting Thomas herd us both inside like miscreant chickens. His hand brushes against the small of my back, and I want to lean into the touch, but he’s already stepping ahead to lead us deeper into the house.
“The Sheriff,” he says tightly. “Apparently we’re not done with each other just yet.”
CHAPTER 40
Thomas
Clara doesn’t let me walk too far ahead of her. Jogging to catch up to me, she surprises me by taking my hand and squeezing it. “Where are we going?” she asks.
I slow my step to match her pace. “The bunker. It looks like Derrick is riding ahead of his people, but I don’t want to assume that means he’s not going to make some show of force. You and Raleigh will stay there until I come get you.”
“I want to stay with you,” Clara argues, and there’s an earnestness in her voice that makes me stop entirely and face her.
“I might be walking into a firefight, Clara,” I tell her. Unwillingly, my eyes stray to the bruises that have only darkened on her cheek. It will take weeks for them to fade. I’ve already sworn to myself that I’ll never let her be that helpless again, no matter what her decision is in regards to us.
Clara licks her lips and takes a deep breath, steeling herself for something. When she speaks, her voice is low. Just for me. “I wish I’d stayed ten years ago. I don’t care what the danger is, I’m not making the same mistake again. I’m staying with you. Always.”
I open my mouth- but there’s no time for a response. Iris appears at the end of the hall. “Thomas!” she calls. “Lindman’s at the gate. He’s alone.”
Fuck Derrick Lindman all the way to hell. The man has a talent for showing up at the worst possible moments. I squeeze Clara’s hand and pull her down the hall after me.
“Hey, I’m coming too!” Raleigh yells, hurrying after us.
I open my mouth to argue, but if Clara is with me then I have no good excuse not to let Raleigh stay by my side. If anything, I owe her this, and a lot more.
