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“How about you tell me what you’re thinking?” she shoots back. “How long do you plan to keep her prisoner? Is she supposed to be leverage against Morgan or do you still expect her to spill his secrets? Because I told you she wouldn’t, and you could’ve just listened to me this morning instead of-”
“This is not about me not listening to you,” I say, though now I wonder if it is, at least to her. Raleigh thought I was suspicious of her this morning. She was defensive of her friendship with Clara, but she was also angry at Clara for not opening up to her more. Despite that sense of betrayal, she still tried to help Clara get out.
Despite that betrayal… or because of it? Maybe it was less about doing something for her friend and more about getting rid of a problem.
It’s an uncharitable thought, perhaps, but my sister is a more calculating person than my father ever gave her credit for- than I gave her credit for, back when we were virtual strangers to each other. I know better now.
“All right,” I say, softening my voice to find the fine line between calming and condescending. So far, I’ve taken Raleigh’s role in this situation for granted in a way that encouraged her to make moves behind my back. I need to let her in on my plans, just enough that she stops trying to take steps on her own.
“I’m not going to use Clara as leverage against Morgan,” I tell her simply. “I’m going to use Morgan as leverage against Clara.”
Raleigh frowns, her back straightening a little. I can tell she wants to appear uninterested, but she can’t help but ask, “Oh? How do you plan to do that?”
“Clara can’t escape her uncle without dealing with him,” I say. “She doesn’t want to admit that, but maybe today will show her how true it is.”
“So you’re pitting Clara against her uncle?” Raleigh demands. “I already told you that won’t work!”
“Not when her motivation is fear,” I agree. “But when her choice is to destroy her uncle or lose her chance to have the future she truly wants? That’s a different story.”
Raleigh’s lip curls with disgust. “So no matter what, she’s just a pawn to you.” I open my mouth, but she plows on. “This is the exact same shit dad planned to pull with me. He kept me in a box so I wouldn’t know anything about anything, and then when I was old enough, he probably would’ve married me off to Morgan himself to make peace.”
That stops me cold. I wasn’t involved in any discussions my father had about Raleigh’s future when I was younger. After all, I was too busy being isolated myself to consider that Raleigh was going through something similar. It never looked that way, when she always had Clara by her side and I was the one looking at them through a window.
Was it relief Raleigh felt, not grief, when our father finally died? Has she been afraid all this time that someday I’ll decide that she’s more useful to me as a pawn than a sister? I didn’t think I’d done anything to give her that impression. Am I missing something?
“You told me you were going to do better than him,” Raleigh scoffs. “But in the end, all you care about is finding what other people care about so you can use it against them. I can’t even tell if you came in here to talk to me because you want to make something right between us, or because you’re trying to get something out of me.”
I remain silent. Whatever I say now will sound like an excuse or an attempt to appease, and we both know it.
Raleigh throws herself back on her bed and pulls her laptop toward her again. “Go away, Tommy,” she sighs. “I’m not interested in playing your games right now.”
I’m not used to someone else getting the last word over me, but it’s fitting of my little sister to defy the norm. I could order her to remain in her room until Clara gives me an answer to her ultimatum, but that would be like driving a shovel into the rift between us and levering all my weight against it. Better to give her space now.
I close the door behind me and check my watch. It’s not even dinner time. It hasn’t been a full day since I drove to Raleigh’s house in a panic with fire alarms blaring out of my phone. How can so many things go so wrong in one day?
I rub a hand roughly over my face with a sigh and consider whether or not a third cup of coffee will improve the situation. Because if something doesn’t give soon, Morgan and I will be firing guns at each other by midnight.
CHAPTER 15
Clara
Help Thomas destroy my uncle, and claim the life I’ve always wanted. Refuse, and spend the rest of my very few days as a hostage while bloody war reignites between the Speares and the Warwicks.
Betray my mother’s love for her brother by turning on the last living member of our family, or betray my promise to my mother by giving up on my own happiness.
It’s the kind of choice I ran away to avoid making. I can’t avoid it any longer.
My skin feels too tight. I pace circles around my room, but I’m just an animal wandering her cage. It’s what I’ve been since the Speare family was founded. I tried to slip the bars, but that only means I left the cage behind me. It won’t ever stop waiting for me to be dragged back.
But if I smash the bars, I don’t ever have to be afraid again.
I fling myself down on my bed with a groan. My uncle is the cage in that metaphor, but he’s also the last member of my family I have left. He was beloved by my mother, who made me promise on her deathbed while the bullets were festering in her gut to never lose my happiness. A happiness that has been chipped away to almost nothing by my uncle.
If I go through with this, I will sacrifice my uncle to save myself. No matter what, I’m breaking my promise in order to keep it. Would my mother accept that, or would she beg me to remain loyal to my uncle like she did?
Raleigh’s daypack was abandoned by the side table when I came in, and I roll over in bed to reach for it now. My sketchbook is sitting right at the top, and I pull it into my chest, cradling it to my heart like it’s the only thing keeping me grounded.
My mother was a trusted member of the estate before the rift, and able to come and go at will. She bought and gifted me all my sketchbooks, each with a note encouraging me to keep dreaming and drawing. Unfortunately, the note she left in this one was misplaced long ago, and I can’t remember what it said anymore.
