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“I’m not recording to gather evidence for a wrongful termination lawsuit, and he doesn’t require it. In fact, it was Derek that insisted so as to make his job easier and so he didn’t have to change secretaries.”
“You’re right. You’re right,” she said.
“But you two did become friendlier though, right? I mean, even though he doesn’t want to fire you even though he’s fired people on the spot for less? Much, much less?”
At her words, I couldn’t help but feel warmth all over my body.
“Call me when Levi Boone’s here,” she tapped on my desk and continued on her way.
I, however, barely even heard her. He didn’t want to fire me? But I had already resigned. However, as this thought came to mind, and soon enough she was on her way, I immediately leaped to the floor to begin to retrieve my stationery and other crap, and a few minutes later, my intercompany phone began to ring.
I knew he was the one; he was the only one that used this line, and I couldn’t help but stare at it.
“You’ve already resigned,” I told myself. So why was it so hard to face him? Why was I so anxious, nervous, and afraid? It made no sense. I made no sense. The phone began to ring again, and this time around, I wasted no time whatsoever in picking it up.
“Sir?” I answered, however, he briefly went silent. I waited.
“I thought you’d left,” he said.
“No, Sir,” I replied. “I’m here.”
“Come to my office,” he said, and I nodded.
“Yes, Sir.”
I set the phone down and headed over. I knocked on the door even though I knew there was no need. He was expecting me. Still, I knocked, and then I walked in. Earlier, even though I hadn’t been trying to make him fall in love with me exactly, I had always been able to look him in the eyes, I wasn’t timid, and I wanted him to at least know that I existed beyond being just his secretary. This time, however, and despite how hard I tried, I couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, I stared at the space behind his head. It was the view of the city, and it was so gorgeous. It had felt like forever since I had last seen it, when instead, it had actually only been a few days. Between then and now, it felt like a lifetime.
“Madison,” he called, and I automatically turned to face him. I realized then just how exhausted he seemed. Everything had been so relaxed, and I had seen him laugh and enjoy himself, but now he seemed as stiff and strained as he always was. What was interesting, though, was that I was almost sure he preferred being this way. Preferred being at his seat of power and in control.
I smiled then for absolutely no reason, but as his expression remained the same, I wiped it off my face. He watched me as I stood before his desk, and this time around, I looked at him. There was nothing to fear anymore, I admitted. It was the end, and I had loved almost every moment of it. I would always be grateful to him for being so lenient with me. He was a great boss.
“I saw your email,” he said. “I saw it on the plane.”
All I could do at this was nod.
“You mean it?” he asked. “You really want to resign?”
“I messed up,” I said. “Monumentally. You would fire others in an instant. I... I need you to know that I don’t consider myself above reproach for any reasons whatsoever.”
As I said these words, I once again remembered the woman I had found in his bed, and I felt even more silly. Of course, I wasn’t above reproach. How the hell did I think I was to him?
“You’re right,” he replied, and then he rose to his feet. “You aren’t above reproach. He walked around his desk, and then he sat at the edge of his desk and faced me.
“If you really want to leave, then I won’t stop you. But I’d like it if you stayed. If you don’t want to, then you can pack up your things right now and leave.”
All of his words felt like shards going straight into my heart.
“I’ll wait,” I replied. “I mean, after sending in my resignation, I’m allowed two weeks before my replacement is found and they’re properly trained.”
“Is that the rule?” he asked, and I nodded.
“So, you’ll be here for an extra two weeks?”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied, and just then, I realized why I had probably done this. If I were to get fired now, by either him or the other executives who want nothing but to see me with my head hanging out the building, I wouldn’t get that extra two weeks with him. I was a little amazed at my subconscious mind, but till this moment, it didn’t even recall it.
“Yes, Sir,” I replied. “I have two more weeks.”
He stared at me, and I wondered if he realized this as well.
