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"You're not pathetic," she said. "Because you know him. You forget that you know him. You didn't just start sleeping with him. There were no barriers to knowing him before you two got together, and this was why you are so in love with him. So, I'm asking, is he the kind to just see a woman at a bar and take her back to his hotel room?"
I considered her questions, and once again, I felt hopeful because when I thought about it, he wasn't the kind to do that. But what did I actually know about him? Sure, I had been his secretary with no boundaries to him since I needed to know all that I could to make his life as easy as possible. However, ... I didn't know what he did outside of the office and when my working hours were over. Come to think of it, I realized now that it was insane for me to assume that a man like him didn’t have a personal life. Of course, he did. He didn't have to flaunt it. And he had his own time to himself despite the fact that it felt as though he was always in the office. But that wasn't the case at all. Sighing, I decided then to stop thinking about him, to stop thinking about any of this.
"He drank at the bar," I told her. "He drank at the bar, and even if he's not usually the guy to do things like this, I wouldn't be surprised if he did because he drank at the bar, and... maybe he was doing this as well to send a message to me. To remind me that there was no commitment between us and so there was no need for me to expect him to be lenient with me. Actually, and now that we're talking about whether I know him or not, I should tell you that the fact that he hasn't fired me yet because of this is incredibly out of character for him. He's fired people for much less. Much, much less. So rather than force him to have even more torment for how to handle this in order to save my feelings, then it's best for me to quit."
"Alright," she said, and my heart sank.
I closed the chat app then and focused on my resignation letter. Was I looking for someone to talk me out of this? I knew that I didn’t want to but... why wasn't I willing to fight either?
I read it one last time and opened up my email. If I sent it now, he would see it when he woke up. However, if I didn’t, then I would be waiting for him to fire me after all this was done. I didn’t know which I wanted or preferred. Either way, I was going to be kicked out, I guess I just had to choose now if I wanted to make it easy for him. And in the end and shutting my eyes, I sent the email and shut my laptop. It was so uncomfortable and painful because he was only a few feet away from me. What I didn’t realize, however, was that he wasn’t already asleep. He hadn’t dozed off as the notification came on his phone. Instantly, I shut my eyes and turned away in complete disbelief that he was still awake. I understood though. It was probably hard for him to fall asleep.
"Focus," I cursed under my breath. Now I would have to call him. I wanted and wished with all my heart that I could check how he had read it. However, I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk meeting his eyes... I would break down from the hurt. And so, I kept my eyes shut until finally, I fell asleep.
Chapter Forty-Six
Hunter
Iwas immensely glad to be back in New York. I had enjoyed my time in Thailand for the most part, but there was something about being back here that made me feel so much calmer. I felt as though I was back in control and better equipped to handle whatever difficulties came my way. Right now, though, it seemed as though they were piling up. From the issues with the company to that leech Levi Boone, and then, of course, to the email I had received on the plane from the woman I knew now I was in love with.
If she didn’t act this way, try to escape every time things got hard, it would probably have taken me even longer to understand just how intensely I felt about her. Because if it was anyone else that toyed with my emotions and was successfully able to, I wouldn't have hesitated to get rid of her a long time ago. But the more she pushed away, the calmer I remained, I realized. Because I knew what she wanted wasn't what she wanted, and it's definitely not what I wanted either. So, all I had to do now was to be patient. In my struggles to win in business, I had accumulated quite a lot of experience, and one of the most important ones was the fact that I had to carefully judge how to handle things in steps and in order of priority, otherwise, I was going to mess up. And so, I understood that hers had to be the last. We both needed time, her more than anything else, and so I didn’t address the email.
We were both wide awake, and I knew she was aware that I had seen it, but I deleted it completely from my mind. I knew she was hurting, but she knew better. At least I hoped she knew better, but in case she had forgotten who I was and why her assumption that I had slept with that woman was insane, I was going to give her the time to come to her senses.
My driver was waiting for me at the tarmac, and as soon as I got in, I headed straight to the office. She sat in the front while I sorted through emails and communicated with the team about my arrival. I had tried to fall asleep on the plane, but after that damned email she had sent to me, I had been unable to. I was still able to remain calm though because so many times, I had felt as though everything was falling apart around me, and thus far, only my ability to remain calm had kept me sane, so this time around, I was going to employ reason as well.
At the office, my executives were waiting for me at reception.
“Sir,” they greeted, however, their eyes were only briefly on me before they turned to the secretary behind me. I glanced at her as well and realized that their eyes were too eager. I was reminded there that they weren’t aware of my personal relationship with her, which meant that they were going to smoke her. Human Resources was probably going to fire her.
Sighing, I waited until we arrived at the elevators, and then I turned towards her.
“I think I left my phone in the car, can you please help me and go check for it?” I asked. She seemed a bit startled at this, but as she looked at the other executives beside me and understood that whether the phone was there or not, she would be avoiding being stuck in an elevator with them, she immediately turned around and nearly ran away. We got in, and the elevator remained quiet, and then, then I said what I wanted to.
“Don't attack her, don't scold her. She's my secretary, I'll handle it. Just focus on damage control.”
The elevator was silent for a while, but eventually and one by one, they responded.
“Yes, Sir.”
“My Human Resource manager Derek, and my CTO however, came into the office with me. Though they at least allowed me to enjoy my office for a moment. I looked at the clean and familiar space and shut my eyes. I was so incredibly happy to be back. After a few moments, I turned around and leaned against the desk. Knowing that Derek's complaint would be the easiest to solve, I turned my attention to him.
“Go,” I said, and he smiled at me.
“She needs to go.”
“No,” I replied. “Next.”
I turned to our CTO, however, before she could speak, Derek cut in.
“Sir, I can't have her foolishness spreading as company culture. When you mess up to this magnitude, you get kicked out immediately. This is the way I run the staff, and you've never interfered till now. I don’t want to be lenient with her no matter the reasons.”
I looked at him and couldn’t believe the pushback I was receiving.
“You’re really pissed, aren’t you?” I asked.
“It's such a basic mistake. She's been so good the past few months. Was it Thailand that messed with her head? I’m so bloody disappointed. To think of what this could cost us. I haven't been able to sleep in the past twenty-four hours.”
I looked at him and truly didn’t know what to say. I could see how upset he was, and he was one of my original employees, so in this matter, I had to be delicate and also for Madison's sake. If I handled this wrongly and with force, she might not get fired since I wouldn’t let them, but she wouldn’t ever be able to enjoy herself in the company anymore, so in the end, everything would be a mess.
