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It had happened so suddenly, I almost imagined they had made a mistake. From the outset, it seemed so simple. We'd sent an email to the wrong person, but with the breach that we were still trying to contain, the repercussions were all I could think about, and it was the kind that would take the company months to recover from.
I glanced at her as we rode back to the hotel and saw her staring out the window. Our plan had been to head out to a restaurant for lunch. I'd told her that my intention was to try the local cuisine before we left, because all the experience I had of Thailand was fusion foods. However, that wasn't the whole truth. I had wanted it to be a date, our first date, and now it was completely ruined. I wanted to tell her that this was my true intention, but I had grown nervous because a part of me was waiting for this shoe to drop. It wasn't that she was incompetent, but that I understood that when distraction was introduced into a professional relationship, especially one as intense as ours, mistakes were bound to happen. And mistakes I truly couldn't stand.
Sighing, I returned my attention to my phone and asked for updates.
"So far, everything was silent. There was no sudden publication, no posts on Twitter. Perhaps everything would work out and it would be fine."
"They still haven't been able to hack in," my CTO replied, and I couldn't help but sigh.
We soon returned to the hotel, and without a word, we went our separate ways.
"Order lunch," I said to her, and she nodded just as she opened her door.
"I wasn't icing her out, even though I was upset. I wanted to be warm about this, but until it had passed, I really didn't know how to be. And a part of me, perhaps, was trying to use this to come to my senses.
Going over the past few days we had spent together in Phuket, I could feel my entire brain chemistry shifting. I couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop wanting to be around her. It was wonderful, but at the same time, the doubt that plagued me that I was off my game, that I was doing the wrong thing, continued to plague me. This discipline had brought me this far, and I didn't want to take it for granted. So, I decided then that I would remain calm and see how the day played out.
The second I arrived back in the room and got started on damage control mode, I got on a call with the PR teams, and we got ready to handle the upcoming disaster. This was her job. She was supposed to be facilitating this, and the fact that I couldn't even call her over to my room to yell at her for just tucking her head between her legs, and disappearing was part of the problem, so I decided to just give her some peace and continue on my own.
"We're gathering everyone and getting ready in case this turns into a shit storm, Sir," the reporter I received informed me. Soon the call ended, and then there was a knock on the door.
My entire body tensed at this. Whether it was because I hoped it was her or that I hoped it wasn't, I couldn't make up my mind.
Whatever it was, I had to respond, and so I opened the door. A cart was rolled in, and I saw that who knocked was the hotel staff.
However, she was nowhere to be found. Since we had gotten together, we had shared and looked forward to every meal together, but apparently, now it was no longer the case. I watched as the restaurant staff arranged the food before me, and I picked up my utensils. However, just a few bites in, and I couldn't believe how tasteless it all seemed. I couldn't stand this any further, so I decided that rather than stay upset, I could think clearly for what seemed like the first time since this vacation began. I decided to once again trust my heart and loosen up. Whatever happened would be solved, so there was no reason to ice her out and let her wallow.
I made up my plan but decided at the last moment to hiss under my breath. I headed toward the door connecting our two rooms and knocked on the door.
For the first few seconds, she didn’t respond, which made me wonder if perhaps she had left the room. Just as I was about to turn the handle, however, the door was opened.
"Lunch is here," I said as the door opened and revealed her saddened face.
"I, uh... I have mine, Sir," she said.
"Where is it?" I asked.
"Uh... I looked behind, and she headed over to her bed side table. She picked up a sandwich, and I stared at it.
"Come to my room," I said. "There's enough food for two."
I didn't leave any space for negotiation, so I turned and returned to my chair. She complied, and soon enough, she was seated on the chair opposite me.
"There's more than enough here," I said, and she picked up her utensils.
I knew she wouldn’t argue because as she was staying to avoid any unnecessary attention on herself given how sensitive the moment was, insisting that she wasn't hungry would have done the exact opposite of that.
We ate silently together, and I couldn't believe how tense things were between us now when just the previous day we had been enjoying ourselves in Phuket like newlyweds. This was life, and we needed to be able to deal with it. I was here, and it didn’t take long for me to realize and understand that she wasn't just my secretary to me any longer. This was what I had fought for from day one, but now, as I took in her gorgeous demeanor and contrite expression, I wondered why I had pushed for that. I loved my work, but... this person... she was special. She was just as special, and I couldn't stand the fact that she was tormented by this.
"Everyone makes mistakes," I told her. "Next time, you'll know to be extra careful with the email. I know because most communication within the company is internal, you forgot to exercise a bit more caution with manually inputting the addresses, but that's okay. We'll be fine, and you'll do better."
She didn’t respond, and when she lifted her gaze to mine, I didn't need to be a genius to know that she was fighting tears off with all her heart and soul.
She looked like she wanted to say something, but in the end, she decided against it. Instead, she nodded and started eating. I watched for a moment and decided to focus on my own meal.
It was the most silent we had ever been with each other, even from the first time she had arrived at the company. In the first few days, if I recall correctly, she hadn’t said a single word besides when and what was needed. I recalled having a conversation back then with the Human Resource manager about her because unlike earlier secretaries who had occupied the position, I had immediately been dissatisfied.
With her, however, I had almost barely noticed her presence. She had done her work, minded her business, and life had gone smoothly.
