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I couldn’t wait.
“I’m a psychiatrist, you know that.” He wrapped his fingers around his knee. It took an immense amount of restraint to not fixate on them. Or on the veins in his forearms. “I specialize in hypnosis to help my patients cope with trauma, addictions, phobias, and stress among other things.”
Now that he was opening up, my mind whirred with a million questions.
“Ask me, Leighton.” He probed at me like a scientist would an insect. And boy, did I love being dissected by him. “Just ask.”
“Is that like in the movies? You snap your fingers and boom.” I dropped my head, closing my eyes, feigning sleep.
A low, rumbling chuckle had my eyes snapping open. White teeth, full lips stretching on stubbled cheeks. High cheekbones of the most handsome man I’ve ever met.
A flash of warmth eclipsed his face. I craved more of it, for every bit of his darkness. Marcus hadn’t been that willing to share it, though. His warmth disappeared before I could marvel in it.
“The process requires trust and time. It depends on the innate receptiveness of the patient.” His long fingers flexed on his knee. “With some, as you described, a trance trigger will be enough after a visit or two. Others will need suggestions to be induced. I’d talk on and on about unrelated topics to take their minds off the command that may sound trivial. They’ll forget they’re in therapy. Then the healing process can start.”
“Can’t you just tell them, ‘Stop smoking’ when they’re induced? Why does it take more than one session?”
He gestured to my teacup. Without ever considering whether I wanted to drink or not, I obeyed. Somehow, he knew the water wouldn’t burn my tongue, and I trusted him blindly.
“To your question, no.” Marcus nodded in approval as I sipped. “Generally speaking, what happens is I unlock the door to their subconsciousness. We explore their past, what’s blocking them, frightening them, challenging them. I tread carefully, cautious about what ideas I plant there. A mind is a fragile thing, Leighton.”
His warning didn’t scare me, as ominous as he sounded. It excited me. Aroused me to the point I had to clench my thighs.
“Can we try this on me?” I croaked.
Any semblance of calm disappeared from Marcus’s face. His gaze became more of a glower. The air in the kitchen turned into a thunderous silence.
In this storm we were trapped in, I was lost. Mesmerized by him. Needed him. My knees ached to bend for him. My mouth yearned to open and accept anything and everything he’d put in there.
Everything.
“Now?” Marcus shifted so his hands were in his lap now.
Covering himself. The bulge in his pants. At the time, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. At the time, I was painfully naïve.
“Yes.” I pulled my shoulders back, tapping into what little confidence I could muster in his presence and in my weakened state. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.”
He searched my face for long, excruciating seconds. “No.”
The single word was worse than a blow to my stomach. Worse than the food I had. We were having a moment, weren’t we? Adult to adult? What did I do?
“No?” I asked with my smile intact. Inside, I was burning with humiliation. “Why?”
“It’s irresponsible. Hypnosis isn’t a parlor trick, Leighton.” He rose to his feet, sealing the discussion.
My humiliation escalated into mortification.
Marcus didn’t mean to make me feel like this, I was sure. There was not a shred of condescension in his tone or his words. Just a rush to end this. Almost like he refused to give this idea a second thought.
My feelings were hurt nonetheless.
“I’m sorry.” I hurried to stand as well. “I didn’t mean to—”
“You haven’t done anything wrong.” He spoke in a low, husky voice. Swiping the half-empty cup off the table, he paused. Penetrative gaze and something resembling regret stumbled over me. “I take my job very seriously. I care about my patients, and I care about you too much to venture into places where I don’t belong.”
Indeed, he cared. He cared for me when he ushered me back to Ry’s room. When he insisted that I stay to sleep over, walked behind me in a safe, appropriate distance. When he closed the door to Rylan’s bedroom, and—as I discovered later that night as I went to peep on him—to his as well.
He cared so much until he stopped caring altogether and kidnapped me. He did it because he loved me, but there were better ways. Kinder ways.
