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It’s Worth the Risk
“Meet Josephine Lorraine Nash,” Jolene says, handing her over to Mrs. Nash.
The first-time grandma coos over the sweet baby as Grayson makes the introductions between Jolene and me. I know who she is since we all grew up in the same town, but she’s nearly ten years older than me, and we never attended school together.
He hands her the balloon and the stuffed bunny, and she thanks him, and I can’t help but stare at the tiny bundle Mrs. Nash is holding. It’s not the first time I’ve held one so little. Both of Beck’s girls were born by scheduled C-section, and I was a senior in high school when they had Everleigh. I was in college with Isla, and he flew me out so I could meet her the day she was born.
I couldn’t have afforded to go otherwise, but he’s a high-powered attorney who makes bank in Manhattan.
My other brothers could’ve afforded it—Alexander, an anesthesiologist in Philadelphia, and Oliver, a software developer in Chicago, both make plenty of cash. It’s a reminder how my siblings are all much, much more successful than me, and I have to admit, it’s not a small part of the reason why I enjoy being out west, far, far away from the rest of them.
But Alex and Oliver had to work, so they didn’t bother flying in to meet their nieces. They finally met each girl when the next holiday came up that forced us all to get together again.
And the Christmas after Isla was born—five years ago this year—was the last time we were all together in the same place at the same time.
It was awkward and stilted. We were forced together for two whole days, and my brothers—all three of them—spent most of their time on their laptops working. I played with my nieces, chatted with Rachel, and did my best to ignore my mother, who drank too much wine and pointed out everyone’s flaws the whole time we were together.
I don’t fit in with my family.
I’m the baby. I’m the only girl. I’m still chasing my dreams while my brothers have already achieved them.
It’s not like that in the Nash family. It’s four boys, all successful professional athletes. They seem to be very close, and I’ve never felt that way with family.
I think it’s why I made my own family when I came to Vegas. Kelly’s been like a sister to me since we met, and for a long time, she was all I needed.
Yet as I sit here with half the Nash family, I can’t help but feel like I wish I had something like this, too. I wish I was a part of a family where it didn’t feel like an obligation to reach out. It’s not that way with Beck, but he’s so busy with his job and his family that oftentimes I feel like I’m bothering him if I’m so moved as to send him a text.
And so I usually don’t. It’s him who keeps tabs on me instead.
I get the sense it’s not like that with this family. I don’t know the ins and outs, and I know Mrs. Nash and Mr. Nash are going through a divorce, so it’s not all perfect. They’re all coming together to be with their oldest brother to meet his baby, and there’s something really special about that. It’s the first grandbaby, and Lincoln is the first one to get married and start a family.
Spencer appears to be next since he proposed to his girlfriend not too long ago. As far as I know, Asher is enjoying the single life, and that leaves Grayson.
He’s still a huge, unsolved mystery.
My eyes shift over to him, and he’s staring down at his new niece while his mom holds her. He’s clearly already in love with her with the way he’s looking down at her, and my chest tightens as this fantasy plays out in my head that it’s us here, and everyone is gathering to meet our baby, and we’re married, and it’s the happily ever after I’ve dreamed of since I had my first crush all those years ago.
As if he can tell exactly what I’m daydreaming of, his eyes flick up to mine.
His are warm, and my cheeks redden as he catches me staring at him.
“Want to hold her?” Mrs. Nash asks the room in general, catching me off guard by interrupting the lock his eyes have on mine.
Grayson looks back at her, but I don’t miss the terror before he shifts his gaze. I stifle a giggle.
“May I?” I ask.
“Of course,” she says.
I head to the sink first, scrub my hands, and then walk back to Mrs. Nash. She hands the baby over, and I stare down at her as I gently sway.
She’s all bundled up in her swaddle, and she wears a pink hat on top of her head to keep warm. She’s sleeping with her little button nose and her pink cheeks.
And I get the strangest feeling that I didn’t have back when I held my nieces.
Maybe it’s age. I was in high school and college with them, but now I’m an adult on my own in the world, and I’m starting to get this feeling that I want one of these in my own future.
It hits me out of left field.
