AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I glance over at her as I realize my focus has been carefully placed out the window for the duration of our car ride thus far. “Fine,” I grunt.
“You don’t seem fine.”
“You really want to have this conversation in the back of an Uber?” I throw back at her.
I think we’d both rather be doing what we did the last time we were in the back of an Uber, but I can’t.
She sighs, and I go back to staring out the window as I try to figure out why I’m being such an asshole. We pull up in front of a small house a few minutes later.
I thank the driver as Ava storms toward the front door and unlocks it, and I really debate asking the driver to hang tight for a bit. I realize we need to talk, as much as I don’t want to. I suck in a fortifying breath as I saunter up behind her, frankly a little surprised she didn’t slam it in my face.
Her hands are on her hips, and her eyes are shooting fire at me when I walk in and shut the door behind me.
“Well? We’re not in the back of an Uber anymore,” she practically spits.
“Right. You asked if I’m okay, and I said I’m fine. I’m not fine, Ava. I’m not even close to fine.” My voice is low and nearly threatening, though I don’t mean for it to be.
But she needs to be careful here. She’s standing there challenging me, and she has no idea what she’s asking me for.
She’s asking to be hurt in the end because that’s the only way this will go.
Even my fucking parents are getting divorced. They were married nearly forty years, and bam, out of nowhere…done.
You’d think as a grown ass man, it wouldn’t affect me. It does.
Deeply.
And maybe that’s the root of the issue here.
No woman has ever pulsed these thoughts in me, yet here I am having them at the same time I’m watching dear old Mom and Dad get a divorce.
I’ve learned from my parents. They’ve taught me now that happy endings are simply illusions we can strive for, but they’re not real. None of us gets out of this life alive, so we’re either doomed to fail at relationships or doomed to lose the people we love most if we’re not the ones to bow out first.
That’s a little deeper than I plan to go tonight with her, but I do want her to feel the confusion pulling at me.
“I can’t stop thinking about your words the other night about how you had this crush on me when you were just a kid, and you’re not a kid anymore. You proved that the night we were together. But for me, this isn’t just about trust and truth versus lies. I can’t be with you because doing so is betraying the guy who has been there for me since I met him our freshman year of high school. Don’t you get that?”
She rolls her eyes. “This again? Really?”
“Yes, really. Our friendship means something to me, and I’m not going to fuck it up when we don’t have any guarantees.”
She shifts to fold her arms across her chest, clearly protecting the heart that she laid out for me to take. “That’s kind of the whole thing with relationships, Grayson. There aren’t any guarantees.”
I nod as I press my lips together. “And that’s why I don’t want one—particularly with someone who I care about and don’t want to hurt in the end. Because that is a guarantee. I will hurt you.”
She shifts her gaze to the floor as she nods, and I think she’s starting to get it.
Except her next words tell me the opposite. “What if that’s a risk I’m willing to take?”
“Then I guess we’re at an impasse because it’s not one I am willing to take.” I lean back on the door as I watch her chew on the inside of her cheek for a beat.
She finally nods a little resolutely, and then she drops her arms to move one of her hands to her face, where she swipes away a tear. “Was it bad?”
My brows draw together. “Was what bad?”
“The sex. Was it so bad you don’t want to go it again?”
Jesus.
