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I know he’s trying to be funny and play it off like it’s some big joke, but it’s not a joke, and it’s not funny to me. It’s my life, and this is me trying my damnedest to straighten it the fuck out.
“I have a confession to make, and I'm not real sure how you're going to take it.”
“Well, now you're kind of scaring me,” he admits.
Just do it. Get it over with. Rip off the bandage.
“When I first moved to town, I saw a girl at a bar and felt this instant chemistry. I took her back to my hotel, took her out to dinner, questioned whether it was right to spend the night with her since we had a connection beyond the physical, and then did it anyway.”
“Oh, shit. You’re about to tell me you’re fake breaking up with Ava for this chick, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Uh…not exactly. Fast forward a week, and I went to the address you gave me to check on your little sister. Imagine my surprise when I saw the girl I’d hooked up with at the same bakery.” I clear my throat. Here it comes. Confession time.
I must freeze longer than I realize.
“Grayson?” Beckett asks.
I blow out a breath. “I had no idea she was the same girl who used to lift weights in your family room in some attempt to impress me all those years ago. She looked completely different than she did back then. She happened to know who I was, so when I hit on her at the bar and she accepted my invitation, she gave me a nickname, and when I took her back to my hotel room, I had no idea she was little Ava Maxwell.”
Silence greets me on the other end of the line, so I plow forward.
“When I found out who she really was, I ended things with her immediately. I felt like she made me betray my best friend, and I wasn't okay with that. I told her I couldn't continue seeing her, but then her ex showed up, and I pretended like we were a thing to protect her. He took a picture and sold it to the media. My plan to stay away from her was fucked when she told him we were together, and then you called and questioned me about the pictures, and it sort of was fake for his benefit, so that’s what I told you. But then we were forced to spend time together to keep up the act, and both of us developed feelings.”
“What kind of feelings?” His words come out stilted and forced—like he’s speaking through a clenched jaw.
“You know what kind of feelings,” I say quietly. And then, just to clarify, I add, “I’m in love with her, Beck.”
He’s quiet on the other end.
“And, naturally, because I’m Grayson Nash, I managed to fuck it up.”
“I swear to God, if you hurt her, I will come out there and kill you myself. With my bare hands.” He’s seething.
“There’s no need for any of that. I’m working my ass off to show her that I’ve changed, that she’s the only one for me, only…she won’t take me back.”
“What the fuck did you do?” he asks.
I decide to go for full honesty. It’s the only way I’ll win him over. “Before I left for camp, I saw a box of pregnancy tests on her counter. She’s not pregnant, but it stopped me short as I had to sit and think about whether it was what I wanted out of my future.”
“And?” he presses.
“And I still don’t know the answer, but I told her I needed to focus on the upcoming season, and I couldn’t do that if I was distracted by what was happening between us. I told her it was over, she called me out on my bullshit, and I ran anyway.”
“Then you deserve it. If she won’t take you back, it’s because she’s protecting herself from having to deal with your ass again, and to be honest, Gray, I don’t blame her.” He’s blunt, and he sounds angry…as any good brother should be.
“I don’t blame her, either. Which is why I’m trying so goddamn hard to show her I’ve changed, and the first step to that was confessing all of this to you.”
“She doesn’t know you’re telling me all this?” he asks.
“No. And I’m sorry if you’re mad. I know you told me to protect her, and honest to God, I tried. It’s how this whole thing began—I saw her fighting with her ex, and I acted like I was the new guy in her life to get him to back off, and here we are five months later, and I’ve never felt like this before. I love her, man. I want to marry her. I want to spend my life giving her everything she deserves.”
“This is going to sound harsh, but I’ve seen you go through women like fucking Tootsie Rolls. I think this is a terrible idea.” There he goes, being all blunt again, and it’s an epic shot right to my heart.
“I know. She deserves better. But I’m hopeful she’ll end up with me anyway.”
He sighs. “With that said, I also know that you’re a good man to your core. I don’t think I could’ve maintained a friendship with someone for this many years if I didn’t believe that. I know if you’re calling me to tell me all this, it’s real. It’s serious. And to be honest, I more than suspected it when we were in town. She loves you, too. It’s obvious, and so I can’t be the one to stand in your way. You better not fuck this up, though. You hear me?”
“I won’t. At least, I won’t again.”
