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“Don’t what?” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “Leave?” He nipped at her jaw. “I won’t. I promise.”
She sucked in a jagged breath. “You’re crushing me.”
“I’m not putting any weight on you.”
“I can’t breathe.”
Whispering softly into her ear, he said, “Yes, you can. Take a deep breath. You’re fine. I’m not gonna hurt you.”
She sniffled and he slowly started to move, keeping his weight from sinking into her, and pressing tender kisses wherever his mouth could reach.
Her eyes squeezed shut and tears continued to seep from her lashes, but she didn’t tell him to stop.
“No matter if the lights are off or your eyes are closed, you can’t stop me from feeling this, Erin. It’s not just our bodies. It’s the connection. And I know you feel it, too.” He also knew it terrified her. “You don’t have to be afraid with me.”
Her eyes squeezed tighter and she shook her head but then nodded.
He dragged a knuckle down her cheek. “You don’t have to hide who you are from me. Messy doesn’t scare me.”
What they shared wasn’t as simple as screwing. He was afraid to honestly admit what he might be feeling. But something deep in his soul knew what it was. It was different with her because his heart had somehow gotten involved. She wasn’t easy and that made every ounce of her character more valuable than anything others might willingly give away.
She found the emotional connection insufferable because she didn’t know how to feel anything more complex than frustration or hate. But beneath her hard exterior, she hid a beating, feeling heart. And, when they slept together, it was more than any sexual experience because it went far beyond the sex.
They shared a connection neither of them expected to find. Sleeping with Erin didn’t qualify as simple sex, because every time he touched her he had to think and use his heart. They weren’t simply having sex. They were making love.
CHAPTER 15
Once the snow started in Jasper Falls, it usually lasted months. Erin usually appreciated the buffer the cold weather created at first, but sooner or later that welcomed barrier from the world started to suffocate her. But this winter, things were different and she was happy hiding in her winter cocoon. Because this year she had company.
The townsfolk lived their same routines, working their day jobs—most of them up on the mountain at the lumberyard—and then going home or to the pub after work. For a short time, she’d tried that life, even rented a small efficiency apartment on Main Street, but the loneliness quickly got to her.
When she lost her job working for the mayor, it made sense to move home. It took only two weeks for her to regret that choice, but she somehow got roped into staying and started working at the hardware store. Then, she turned thirty and assumed the role of a modern day spinster—if there still was such a thing.
But she didn’t feel like a spinster anymore. She felt like she was a part of something. Her moods had softened and she no longer suffered the seasonal depression she once had. There was only one person to blame for this recent change.
Erin closed the cardboard box, locking away the tobacco-scented flannel as she taped the lid shut.
“Is that the last of them?” Giovanni lifted the box from the floor the second she cut the packing tape.
She nodded, briefly glancing at her dad’s dresser. That was next to go on the curb. Someone would hopefully take it and save her the chore of borrowing a truck to haul it away.
A gust of cold air slithered through the house as Giovanni carried the box to his car. Erin stood and left her father’s bedroom, never comfortable in that space.
He returned, clapping his hands together as if brushing off dust. “What do you say we drop off the boxes then go grab something to eat?”
“Sure. I just have to find my shoes.”
“Take your time.” He pressed a kiss to her temple then disappeared into the kitchen. The fridge rattled and she heard him pour himself a drink.
Their relationship confused her. They were officially sleeping together and their connection felt strangely normal. Any animosity from their childhood had faded away, replaced by an unexpected, but natural, familiarity.
She didn’t know why he was so nice to her when no one else was. Maybe it was the sex. They were good in bed, but they were also good out of bed. If she were being perfectly honest, she liked him, as a friend and more.
The more wasn’t a surprise. Giovanni was extremely attractive and sweet when he dropped the act and showed his true self. Any girl who got to know him would easily fall for him—a threatening thought she didn’t like to entertain.
Their friendship worried her more than their chemistry. Sex was easy, but sex with Giovanni always demanded more from her than with anyone else. With him, it was deeper, emotional, and ten kinds of earth shattering. He was giving her feelings she wasn’t ready to feel.
Erin didn’t have many friends. The few she had, she often wondered if friendship was too generous a label. Was Finn her friend, or simply an acquaintance from her past? Even now, she shied away from such technicalities, afraid the truth might leave her with an unwelcomed emptiness inside.
