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Because I have feelings. Strong feelings. They have been growing since we met all those years ago, but whatever happened during the heat has left me with such powerful feelings that I feel transformed.
I don’t want to be hurt again.
I think I remember Ian telling me he loved me, but that can’t possibly be true. There’s no way.
An arm slings around my waist, hooking me and dragging me back into a wall of naked chest. I inhale and straight away smell the snow-in-the-air scent that is Weston.
“West,” I murmur.
He walks us forward towards the glass windows. “There’s a whole world that we can explore together. Hand in hand. We can do anything you want. So what do you want to do today?”
I watch his reflection and feel the bond he put on the curve of my neck throb deliciously.
“I want to watch a movie,” I say when I get my brain working again.
“A movie? Where?”
I blink. “Here. In your arms. With popcorn and ice cream. I want to sit with oversized blankets that smell like us and laugh at the things they’ve done wrong. I just want to be with you.” It comes out a whisper, and he presses closer to me, as if he can feel the feelings that are pouring out of me.
“That’s all?”
I pout. “I haven’t been able to watch movies at the refuge. They don’t give us popcorn or ice cream. I have had no friends or people to do it with, not since-” I cut myself short.
“Not since we did it that night at the Omega Meet?” West whispers in my ear. “Not since me?”
“It’s one of the best memories I have,” I admit softly. Admitting a truth I’ve kept hidden in my heart since it all blew up in my face. They are my best memories.
He spins me around. “What happened?”
I look away. Shame colouring my fairy floss scent. I swallow hard. Would they hate me if I told them? Would they despise me? I would.
I can’t tell him. I couldn’t bear if he looked at me like that.
“You can trust us, you can trust me,” West whispers.
“In all my life, every time someone has said those words to me, my life has become a living hell,” I whisper.
West shuts his jaw with a snap. “Well then, let’s prove fate wrong.”
We spend all day watching movies. When West needs to leave, Ian takes his place, slowly feeding me tiny little pieces of chocolate and stroking my back. He tells me stories of the pack and keeps me belly laughing the whole time.
“I used to think you were scary.”
“Me?” Ian asks, shocked. “I’m not scary at all.”
“You were to me. Because you were so perfect, and I was afraid I’d hurt you or you would wake up and finally see me and run far away.”
“That’s in the past. We’re together now. This is our happiness.”
He strokes his fingers over my bond mark. I shudder and turn so I’m staring up at him.
“What if I were broken? What if I was ruined?”
“Silver, you could never be broken. Or ruined. If someone hurts you, that’s on them, not you. No one here is going to blame you for what someone else did.”
“What if it was something I did?” I whisper.
“No!” Ian says sharply. “No, just, no. Whatever you had to do to survive, you did to survive. I don’t care what it was. You don’t need my forgiveness, but if it will make you feel better, you have it. Without needing to know what happened, even if you never tell me, I forgive all of it. It doesn’t matter or affect this here, what we have. What you have is my devotion, my trust, my respect. And you have my protection. Nothing will hurt you so long as we are here.”
