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“I didn’t say that.”
He laughed a little. “No, you get brownie points for that, Willow.”
She laughed with him and quickly put the eggs on the two awaiting pink ceramic plates. The toast popped up and she had all four slices buttered and ready in no time. Turning, plates in hand, she said, “I know we can’t just ignore our past as we work together. It’s going to come up. But I’m not here to put salt in our wounds, Shep.” She set the plates down, turning and going to a drawer to retrieve the flatware.
He sat up, inhaling the fragrance of the scrambled eggs, and the sprinkled chunks of goat cheese and fragrant, mouth-watering herbs she’d mixed into them. “I was thinking along the same lines. I don’t want to fight with you, Willow. We have a job we’re going to be working together on and I want peace between us.”
She gave him the flatware and sat down opposite him, coffee beside her plate. “Chow down.”
Shep was starving and he ate quickly, as did Willow herself. In the military, there was very little time for a nice, luxurious meal. Everything was gobbled down within five minutes flat. And, through force of habit, this time was no exception. He wasn’t distracted quite enough by the amazing food to disregard the peaceful aura Willow always brought along with her, or the look he loved on her face when she was enjoying herself. Her fingers were long, and he watched them curl around her large mug of coffee from time to time as she consumed the breakfast fare. Those fingers had caressed him, loved him and, the fool he was, he’d driven her away. Sadness settled in his chest, and he fought against it. The past was done. He had nothing to build on but the here and now.
“It was good, thanks. You’re one helluva cook. You always were.” he said, once done eating.
Her lips quirked. “I love cooking. With our flight schedules to the villages we take care of around the region, I don’t get much downtime.” She looked around her quiet, green-plant nook. “With this new assignment? Dev and I will be flying our asses off 24/7/365. About the only thing I’ll have time to do is stagger in here, hit my rack, sleep the sleep of the dead, get up at 0500 the next morning and fly all day long all over again.”
“Yeah, it’s a big project,” he agreed, munching on his dark-brown toast slathered with butter. “We need to sit down, but not right now, maybe later, to see the schedule you’ve worked out to get the supplies from the warehouse here in this city flown out to those villages.”
Nodding, Willow sipped her coffee, relaxing against the wrought iron chair. “Among many other things.”
“Are you up to dealing with me?” he asked, holding her lidded stare.
“I told Wyatt Lockwood I was.”
His brow lifted. She wasn’t directly answering his question, avoiding it instead. “I want to make this work between us, Willow. No one in these teams, except for Luke, because he’s Shield Security for this gig, knows we were married before.”
“Yeah, I got that.” She gave him a thoughtful look. “You’ve changed a little from what I can tell so far.”
“Naw, never gonna happen. Remember? I’m the stick-in-the-mud. The guy who was stubborn as ten mules put together. All head and no heart.” He saw a grin edge her full lips. But Willow was off limits. He’d had his chance and had blown it. But he couldn’t control his physical response to her. Three years apart had made her even more attractive to him than before.
“I remember,” she said, pushing her empty plate to one side. “I always liked when you sent me a photo of wherever you were at in your emails.”
“Oh… those. I know how much you love photography, Willow. And I didn’t want to lose touch with you completely.”
“You usually sent me pictures of children, dogs or random people out in fields.” she said.
Shep replied, “Kids and animals were always important to you. I saw that when we went into Afghan villages with medical teams to help them. I liked the photos you sent me as well.”
She nodded, sipping her coffee. “I thought you might like to see where I was working and flying.”
“I did. I’ve never been in Africa, and I found your photos always interesting. I wished,” he admitted, “there had been more.”
“Mmmm.”
Shep saw sadness in her expression for a moment. He was feeling sad, too. “Look,” he began heavily, opening his large hands, holding her gaze, “I need to apologize to you. It’s been a long time coming, but I’ve had three years to reflect on my being a total jerk toward you.” He pushed on, feeling his stomach clench because Willow gave him a shocked look, as if never expecting him to own up to what he’d done to her and their marriage.
“I know there’s a lot wrong with me. At the time we married, I didn’t see it, but you did.” His mouth flattened, his voice growing hoarse. “I loved you, but I drove you off, Willow. And… looking back on it? I screwed up totally. You had every right to walk out on me and demand a divorce. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know. And I don’t’ expect any forgiveness. I just want the slate between us clear so we can work together on this undercover assignment honestly. I don’t want barbs of anger from myself to you. All I want at this stage is the hope that we can be the friends we once were before we took that premature leap of faith into marriage. What do you think?” and he studied her stunned expression, her eyes filling with tears. She swallowed hard several times.
“I-I guess I never expected this,” she admitted, her voice hollow. Leaning her elbows on the table, wrapping her hands around the mug in front of her, she added, “I accept your apology. I wasn’t exactly spotless in our marriage, either.” She sighed. “And we married in a war zone, Shep. And we divorced in it, too. I was a combat pilot. The adrenaline highs and lows I went through during and after missions, didn’t help matters, either.” She gave him a sorrowful look. “I’ve had the same three years you had to look back and see what I contributed to our divorce, also.”
“There were a lot of pressures on us,” he agreed quietly, holding her somber gaze. “But I was the main reason you walked out. And I deserved it. I’m not asking for pity here. What I hope, after these three years, is that I’m a changed person. At least, I’m trying.”
Willow sat back, staring at him. “Are you presently in a relationship, Shep?”
He gave her a wry look. “Me? You were married to me. What other woman would put up with a patriarchal, neanderthal hulk like me?”
“It wasn’t that bad,” she admitted.
He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “At least, I guess you could say that over the last three years I tried to do something you accused me of being incapable of.”
