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“I’ve never seen muscles like yours used for good,” she said softly, staring up at him as if he were a hero.
“I want to use my muscles to protect you,” he said. It sounded a lot cheesier than he’d wanted.
She smiled briefly at his wording and ran her hands up along his shoulders and around his broad back. “Hays.” She swallowed hard. “I want to kiss you more desperately than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.”
His eyes widened and his heart slammed against his chest. “That sounds like a brilliant idea.”
She didn’t move, didn’t release her hold on him, but she said softly, “I can’t be selfish like that. You and I have no future. If we fall for each other again …” She shook her head, her eyes growing dull and sad. “It will be even more horrific when we part.”
“Liz,” he protested. “As soon as your father is removed from power, we can be together like I’ve always dreamed of.” He hoped she’d had the same dreams.
She shook her head and stepped back into the room, out of his reach. “Even if my father was dead, I wouldn’t be able to be with you.” Her eyes were sad but resolved.
The door closed, and his heart hurt almost as much as when she’d turned him away and had her guards beat him. Why couldn’t she be with him? She wanted him. He could see that in her eyes.
He wanted to tell her there was no ‘if we fall for each other again.’ Not for him.
He’d already fallen fourteen years ago, and even the pain of their separation hadn’t stopped him from loving her.
She must not feel the same, or she would have explained why they couldn’t be together and let him pave the way to change that statement. He could infiltrate the Taliban or take down a dictatorship, but he was failing at securing the love of his life’s heart.
Hays turned to his room with heavy steps. His Liz was right here, like he’d dreamed of for years, and still she was out of his grasp. He dropped to his knees and prayed. Only heaven could help him find a way into Elizabeth’s closed-off heart.
Chapter
Thirteen
Elizabeth cried herself to sleep that night, but it was for the best to keep her distance from Hays. She was impressed with her self-control, stepping away from him in the midst of such a romantic moment. She couldn’t say she was proud of it, though. There was no pride in hurting Hays.
Even if they put her father in prison, she couldn’t be with Hays. Her father could still get to him. Even if her father was dead, the darkness inside of her was the opposite of Hays’s light. She wasn’t worthy of such a kind and heroic man.
She woke early, showered and dressed, not sure what another day would bring. Being with Hays was exhilarating and at times it was impossible to keep her distance from him. She’d lied last night when she’d said they shouldn’t fall for each other again. There was no need for her to fall. She was already in love with him.
But besides those stolen moments with Hays as a partially innocent eighteen-year-old, she’d never done anything for herself. Now was not the moment to be selfish and cling to Hays.
A rap came on her bedroom door. She rushed to it, anticipation filling her.
“Knock knock,” Hays called through the door before she could open it.
She smiled. “Who’s there?”
“Adore.”
Her heart beat faster. Did he adore her?
“Adore who?”
“Adore is between us. Please let me in.”
She laughed but felt the sting of disappointment. He didn’t adore her. He shouldn’t anyway.
Swinging the door wide, she looked over his handsome face, his strong build, and met his deep-brown eyes. There was no man to equal Hays. Not in this world. She could only imagine how women flocked to him. That made her jealous, and she quickly tamped down the emotion. She was a master at hiding her emotions, and she needed every skill she’d earned protecting others from her father to hide her longing for Hays.
“What’s the plan for today?” she asked, forcing a smile.
He appraised her, his deep-brown gaze revealing his yearning for her. Had he fallen for any of the many women who’d chased him, or had he secretly always wanted her? That was selfish of her to even think.
“Anything you want to do, Liz.”
