Page 63 of Gravity

“Here. You look like you need it after that conversation.”

“Thanks, man. Twilight can be fucking brutal at times.”

I slide myself in the seat and take a pull of my drink, letting the cold liquid cool my throat. Silence falls between us, and I can almost hear the turmoil rolling around in his head. I question if I’m this transparent when it comes to me and my demons, or if his are more noticeable because I now know the truth he’s yet to speak.

Death can do shit to a person, I should know. I know all too well about being locked in a world you don’t wish to be in, and I feel my friend here is lost in his own.

“Wanna talk about it?”

He looks up from his old beer bottle that he’s still picking the label from. “What?”

“Why has Mark gone hard on you? You look like you’ve got a heavy weight on your shoulders.”

“Tell me it won’t happen again,” he blurts, his shoulders rounded with tension.

My chest tightens, and my night with Nora flashes before my eyes. I’m not ready for this conversation yet, and I certainly don’t want to have it in my bar with too many eyes on us, but then I question what he’s actually referring to.

“What won’t?”

“Dad. Tell me it won’t happen again.”

It’s the last thing I was expecting, and I let out an exhale. “Ash, you know I can’t tell you that. First, I’m no doctor, and second, you heard Dr. Newman: there’s a high chance it will, and there’s nothing to say it won’t be the last.”

He nods, his eyes heavy, as he pushes his empty bottle aside and takes the full one, drinking half of it down. “So, I’ll have to go away knowing what I’m leaving behind then,” he exhales, low enough in the hope I don’t hear him, but it’s loud and clear.

I frown and think back to what Mark said, so I pull him up on it because he’s making no sense. “You’re only going away for a couple days though, right? It’s hardly a lifetime. California is only a few hours away.”

Silence falls between us, and I feel a sudden shift in his presence. He can’t look at me, and that uneasiness I felt when I saw him in the hospital is back.

“Ash, What’s going on. You know you can talk to me, right? About anything. I know you’ve not been yourself.”

“It’s only a few hours, yes, but it’ll be for a while. It’ll be easier going knowing that you’ll be there for Mom, Dad, and Nora should dad be ill again.”

My back straightens. “What do you mean a while.”

“After the meeting yesterday… There’s some shit going down. Jackson wants a couple of us to head out for longer."

I’m confused. “And that caused Mark to be brutal with you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because he wants me to stay back here and work with him in the Virginia office.”

“And it has to be you that goes to Cali?” I question, knowing he’d want to be here for as long as possible with everything that is going on with Pete.

He shakes his head and his words that follow anger me. “I can’t be here, Gray. I offered to go.”

“Offered? You mean you could stay here and had quality family time now that Nora is at home, too, but you’d rather be out there?” I can’t believe the words that are leaving my mouth. In one breath, I’m trying to think of ways to spend time with her and the next I’m trying to make the biggest threat to us stay.

“It’s my job,” he states.

“I get that, but what you’re saying is someone else could go in place of you? I thought staying in Virginia would be what you’d want right now.”

“It’s what I live for, Grayson.”

If he’s trying to sugar coat this to make it sound like I should be proud of him then he’s doing a shit job. I get what he does. I get why he does it. It’s in his blood. But his father is his blood. He’s just sat there and said he’s offered, so forgive me for not being fucking happy about it.