Page 102 of Gravity

“You know, there is a way you can change that.” She smiles, coming to sit at the dining table opposite me.

I frown. “Change what?”

“Your sleeping pattern. You could just come right out and say that you don’t sleep well when Grayson isn’t under our roof. I know you’ve been in a secret relationship with him ever since you came home but that you haven’t said anything because of your brother. And now, with your father’s passing, you still feel you can’t say anything because you don’t want to upset those close. Me included. Or am I wrong about all of that?”

I’m speechless, staring at her with wide eyes and a racing heart as I try and process everything she’s just said, regardless of the fact it’s true. But the shock of it all is that she’s known but has never said anything. Dad had been the same.

“You know about me and Grayson, too?” I whisper.

“Nora, sweetheart. I’m not blind. I’ve seen the way you two are together, and I’ve seen you both lost when you’re apart. Your father and I spotted the close connection between the two of you long before you knew yourself. Your dad used to say you two were destined to be together. And here you are.”

I suddenly feel so much lighter than I’ve felt in the last few weeks. Needing Mom’s approval is not something that I’ve ever truly worried about, not after Grayson said that Pop had known, but hearing her words has shifted something inside of me that I never knew was there and has made it easier to breathe.

With the way she’s looking at me now, the turmoil I’ve been surrounded by of late and my love for Grayson, I can’t help the tears that threaten. “And you’re really okay with this?”

“Of course, I am. Why would I not be? It’s Grayson.”

When I wipe my eyes, she’s out of her chair and moving to sit beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and turning my face to look at her just like she’s always done when I’m sad.

“I do hope they are tears of happiness?”

I nod. I’m just so emotionally torn up right now that I cry at the slightest thing, regardless of if its joy or anguish. I wish Grayson were here to share this moment because he worries there are people out there who will throw shade toward our relationship and try to break us. But regardless of that, I speak the truth to my mother.

“I’m in love with him, Mom.”

“I know you are, sweetheart. I can see it.”

“It just feels so good to be able to say it out aloud, especially to you. I didn’t want to say anything as I thought it would be too soon for you to hear after Dad. I was worried you wouldn’t approve, and I didn’t want to jeopardize anything I have with Grayson because I honestly don’t think I can live without him.”

“But, Nora, I do approve. I couldn’t think of a better man for you, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for showing that love for him while around me. I’m a big girl. I’ve had my chance at love, and your father will always be in my heart. Now it’s time to see that love and happiness through my children.” She kisses me on the head. “Don’t hide from anyone. You hear me? What you do and who you love is none of their concern.”

I dislike bringing his name up in this conversation that is filled with love and hope, but there’s one person who is playing on my mind, and despite the fact I don’t care what he thinks of my relationship with Gray, I care what my mom thinks of him when it comes to the two of us.

“And what about Asher? He won’t be so level-headed when it comes to us. I’ve never been able to be around guys without him sabotaging it somehow, and I know that regardless of Grayson being his best friend, he won’t see us as you do. Grayson will never be good enough in the eyes of Asher.”

“You leave your brother to me.” She holds my stare, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, discontent clouds her features. She’s not shown this side of her when it comes to where Asher is concerned. Whenever his name has been mentioned she’s shut down. But right now, I see a storm behind her eyes.

“Your brother has no say in your relationships.”

Leaving her place beside me, she heads over to the sink and turns on the water to wash the breakfast dishes when she’s not eaten anything herself. Needing this conversation to continue, and knowing she’s been bottling this up, I’m eager to know where her mind is at.

“When do you think he will be home?”

“I don’t know.” It’s a simple answer, but I can now hear frustration under her tone, and I question why she hasn’t voiced her irritation about him sooner. I want to know what she feels. I want to know what she thinks, and more importantly, I want to know if my outrage matches hers.

Leaving the table, I head over to stand beside her, needing to be close so I can catch her reaction. "Are you not mad, Mom? Angry at the fact he’s lied to us?”

“Nora, please. I don’t wish to talk about it right now.”

“That he has been in California or God knows where for weeks,” I push. “That he’s not been here to support his family as we grieve. Not even phoned or made any form of contact. Does none of that matter to you?"

"Of course, it matters!" she yells, making me jump, and it’s in less than thirty seconds that she’s gone from caring and considerate to full-blown fury. "Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I want to scream at him for his absence and ask what was so important he put it before his family. Yes, I want to let him know how disappointed I am because for all Asher is the way he is, I never raised him to be selfish and heartless. And I also want to know why as his mother he couldn’t come to me and tell me what’s going on in his head. But what good will it do, Nora? It won't change anything. It won't stop the void I have in my heart and it won't bring your father back.”

"Mom..." I wrap my arms around her in a tight squeeze as she falls apart on my shoulder, my tears now falling from seeing her so powerless when she’s always been so strong. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you cry.”

“I know. It’s not your fault.”

“And neither is it yours.”