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“I do. And I love Grim. So when I work the math in my head,I know I should step back. I want something more than my own happiness. I wantyours. I want his.” He was fairly certain he would never be happy without her,but it didn’t matter.
Her arms crossed over her chest. “So you would let me andGrim find an apartment in town and go about our lives?”
“No. I would move into the big house and let you have theone we’re in now,” he replied. “Why would you… Nicole, I would never ask mybrother to leave. I wouldn’t ask you to leave. If you don’t want either one ofus, you should stay in my parents’ house as long as you need to.”
“Even if that’s forever?”
She needed a family, and he needed to know she was happy.“Forever. We’ll find a way through it. We’ll find a way to be friends. Ipromise. This is going to be okay, Nicole. It’s your decision, and you can’tmake a wrong move except for walking away.”
“Because I found the high life and I would be stupid toleave it?” There was a challenge to her question.
He wasn’t sure what she was talking about. “Because you havea home and people who love you. Because you could have a future here. Itdoesn’t have to be with me, though I deeply hope you’ll still let me be yourfriend.”
“You mean that.” She seemed to relax. “You would let me bepart of your family. You would let me marry Grim and you would stand there andbe my friend.”
“I would still love you, Nic. I’ll always love you, but I’llbe satisfied if you’re happy. If you’re whole.”
“But you wouldn’t be.” The words came out soft, almostsympathetic.
Was he about to lose her? “No. There will always be a partof me missing, but I’ll live with it.”
“I kissed Grim tonight.”
His whole body felt heavy. He knew he’d said what he’d said,and he meant it, but it was going to hurt more than anything he’d ever felt.His mind was already working on the problem. He might need to go on the roadmore. Maybe it would be easier to not watch them settle into the house he’dhoped to share with them. Maybe a couple of months away would ease the longingto something manageable.
“So I should kiss you, too,” she offered logically. “To befair. I know it doesn’t have to be one for one, but there haven’t been a lot ofkisses lately, and I don’t want you to feel left out.”
Then she was right in front of him, going up on her toes andpressing those sweet lips to his, and it was like the fucking world came backonline. Like he’d spent the last few weeks in something colorless and drab andshe touched him and the world was real again. Whole again.
His hands went down to grip her hips and drag her in closer,but he stopped.
He didn’t want to scare her, didn’t want to take somethingshe wasn’t willing to give.
Nic sank down to her feet and frowned up at him. “You’regoing to be like Grim, aren’t you?”
“Well, if it means you kiss me and let me stay in our bed,then yes, I suspect I’ll be a lot more like Grim,” he admitted.
Her expression softened. “I meant you’re going to treat melike I’m fragile. Like I’ll run away if you make a single mistake. That isn’twhat I was trying to do, Josh. I’m not afraid you’ll hurt me physically. I’mstarting to learn you won’t hurt me for anything. I’m starting to understandyou are not my deceased husband, and your family is so far from the Hollowaysit’s ridiculous.”
“I can be rough,” he admitted.
“And I like it when you’re rough because even when you’rethe big bad Dom in my life, you’re thinking about me. Not yourself. You’rethinking about my pleasure and my comfort and what I need. I’ve never beenafraid you would hit me. Never.”
“Never,” Josh promised. “Never in any way not meant to bringyou pleasure. Nicole, I love you. I want to take care of you. I want to havethe kind of family I had growing up.”
“I know. It’s what I was afraid of,” Nicole admitted. “Ididn’t understand your family and I thought I wouldn’t fit in, but I do. Ithought this would all turn sour, and I know I haven’t been here long, but it’snot going to go bad, is it?”
Hope lit his whole soul. “No, baby. No one is going to turnon you. You have a family now. You have me and Grim and Olivia and my parents.You have our friends. Harlow adores you. The rest of our friends will, too.”
“And even if I made a misstep, you wouldn’t kick me out.”
“No. There is nothing you can do that would make me leaveyou.”
She frowned his way. “I can think of a few things.”
She didn’t understand him. “There is nothing you—NicoleMason or Nora—could do. There is nothing your sweet soul could do that wouldmake me run.”
“You’re taking a lot on faith, Joshua Barnes-Fleetwood.” Shestood there looking so vulnerable. “I tell you I didn’t kill my husband and youbelieve me.”
