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She smiles. “You’re right. It was so simple. Thank you, Robbie.”
“Hey. I believe in you,” he adds, pointing his non-bandaged finger. “You got this.”
Melanie stares at him. “Hmm,” she hums.
Robbie’s eyes flick in her direction. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says. “I mean, I’ve heard of men speaking out of their asses before, but I’d never seen it so up close before.”
“Well, you always were a little prude when it came to butt stuff, Mel.”
I share a glance with Trix, both of us holding back our chuckles.
“That certainly was some top-tier counseling, Rob, but it’s time for you to go,” Melanie says, her teeth clenched together.
“Aw, honey,” he says, making her nostrils flare out. “Don’t you want me to stick around for a drink or two?”
“No, thank you,” she says, stabbing every word.
He grins. “That’s my cue, then.”
“Yes, dear god, please piss off.”
Robbie shakes his head, amused. “You sure are testy when you’re ovulating.”
Her jaw drops. “I am not ovulating!”
“What’s the date today?” he asks the table.
“The fourteenth,” I say.
“Ah, yep.” He nods. “She is.”
She scoffs. “How could you possibly know that? I don’t even know that.”
“I just know.”
“Well, you can just know somewhere else. Go away, Robbie.”
He stands up from his chair and slides it back under the next table with his good hand. “Ladies, it was a pleasure, as always,” he says to us.
“And update your forms, please,” Melanie adds.
“Oh, calm down, Mel,” he says. “You were barely inconvenienced.”
“No, you’re totally right. You only wasted five hours of my life. I suppose my consolation prize is the fact that you’re not going to be able to jerk off properly for weeks.”
“You’re more than welcome to come over and help me out,” he quips. “As long as you wear a mask to conceal those bags under your eyes, of course. You’re looking a little worn out, Mel. Books not selling?”
“Eat me, you limp-dick loser.”
“Blow me, you frigid hag.” He looks away from her and smiles at us instead. “See you around, ladies. Nora, Trix...” he glares at Melanie, “Maleficent.”
I give a wave. “Bye, Robbie!”
“Good to see you,” Trix says.
“We should do this again soon.”
